Wishing You Were Somehow Here Again
by LizzieLovesErik
Summary: What if Christine realizes that she cannot live without Erik? Has she discovered her love for him a little too late?
1. Chapter 1

I could hear distant cries. As I softly stepped closer, those echoing cries became louder and louder. I then recognised them as the broken-hearted sobs of an angel; my angel of music. Tears welled up in my own eyes as I spotted a crumpled figure on the floor. A figure that was, as always, impeccably dressed- in a smart black suit. A figure that was uncharacteristically lying in a crumpled heap; its body wracked with shaking, broken sobs.

_'Chris-tine...'_ cried the achingly beautiful voice.

'Why Christine, why?'

Such a smooth, unmarred, angelic voice seemed uncharacteristic for the broken man who crumbled on the floor. But such a voice was distinctly _him. __He _was the voice who commanded and alarmed. _He _was the voice who laughed in the face of death. _He _was the voice who chilled many to the bone. But, _he_ was also the voice who warmed my heart; who made my soul take flight. _He _was the voice who softly sang me to sleep, yet also seductively haunted my dreams.

My Erik. A kaleidoscope of bitter-sweet memories; the irresistible mixture of heaven and hell. I could never see him as a man. No, he was more of a strange, spectacular _Godly _creature whom I worshipped with every ounce of my being. But now he seemed to be so... so incredibly _human. _I soon realised that Erik was only a mere mortal; a _man _who worshipped _me. _It was all a façade. How ironic, that his entire persona was so similar to the mask he wears.

_Only letting us see what he wants us to see._

He was an illusionist, a magician. He could make things disappear; marvellous acts of magic which truly enraptured me. Although, he could never make his face disappear. He could never hide his vulnerability either; you see, his desperation to be loved was far too potent. A mask was the only fitting solution to conceal his curse; and likewise, his persona as 'The Phantom of the Opera' helped him to detach himself so _easily _from humanity.

I knew that he did not wish to feel human, for then he could not feel the excruciatingly irrepressible _pain. _But he still did. I saw such torturous pain in his beautiful golden eyes that my heart threatened to break. If only I had the strength to heal _his _broken heart myself.

For there he was, stripped bare in front of me. He was maskless, and was no longer the strong, dangerous, invincible Phantom. He was simply Erik, and he was crying my name.

'Christine! I-I love you Christine...' he pitifully wept.

'Oh Christine, I love you so! P-please... please know that Erik loves you with his whole heart!'

I could not leave my angel in such a state of despair. I had to let him know that I had returned.


	2. Chapter 2

As I cautiously stepped closer, I continued to silently watch his torrential tears; unable to act, or even speak. It was not _abnormal _for me to be reduced to silence around him. But normally it was due to the intensity of his gaze; the immense power of his stature; the sheer _hypnotic_ quality of his voice. Though now, I was silent because of a complete lack of words. What could I possibly say to this poor man who was pouring his heart out... for _me?_ How could I confess how _confused_ I was, when either way I would only shatter his heart.

_'I am so cruel...'_ I thought in self-loathing, as I helplessly watched him rock back and forth, whimpering my name again and again.

So many thoughts and memories were flashing through my mind. As I studied the only visible side of his face, I wistfully imagined just how handsome he could have been. The unblemished side of his face displayed an attractive, masculine bone structure; a supposedly straight nose; lovely full lips and eyes that were a strange yet hauntingly beautiful shade of gold. Oh those eyes… those _pleading _eyes that both threaten and adore!

As I let out a soft sigh, Erik's head whipped round in shock. I flinched slightly at the sudden view of his malformed face, yet stood my ground; my eyes wide open and my lips pressed in a firm straight line. I knew that the last thing to do was to look away in horror. Instead, I stared straight back at him; openly studying his poor, misshapen features.

His deformity was, simply _hideous;_ an ironic mirror image of the attractive half of his face. I remember being transfixed by such intoxicatingly dark beauty; his mask giving out the illusion that the left side of his face was as flawlessly handsome as the right. But that illusion was shattered as soon as the mask came off. Gone was the mesmerising man with easy confidence, irresistible charm and fluid, sensual movements. In his place, stood a tortured, tormented soul who was barely grasping the edge of his crumbling sanity. For in everyone's eyes, he became a _monster._

I too thought he was a monster when I first removed his mask. As he raged and roared and shouted and screamed, I could only recoil in fear. He mistook it for disgust, when I was more afraid of the distortion of his _soul_ than the distortion of his face.

Oh his poor unfortunate face… if only he was not born burdened with such a curse! Yet, now as I studied his face without showing any trace of fear or shame, I soon found myself lost in his eyes. It was as if the translucent, mottled, misshapen flesh did not matter. I could not even focus on the fact that my angel was hideously deformed; for all I could see were his eyes. Those eyes struck my heart right from the start; two exquisite pools of liquid gold. At that moment, his eyes were bright with tears; resembling two shining stars. As those unshed tears began to swiftly fall, he sank further to his knees.

'Angel?' I murmured, my own tears catching in my throat.

'Oh my Christine, beautiful sweet _kind _Christine! You are too good to your Erik, and... and I have been nothing but cruel to you!' he sobbed, gasping for breath.

'Oh woe, woe to Erik! I… I just love you… I love you too much! Too much for even my-myself to comprehend! Oh, darling Christine, I would give you the world if I could! I would draw down the moon with my bare hands if only to… to see you_ smile _again!'

Those pure, innocently adoring words touched my soul, effortlessly melting the icy barrier of fear which separated me from him. I was crying now, tears dripping down my cheeks as I mindlessly reached out to him. But he didn't notice my extended hand, for his own hands were covering his face as he wept at my feet. He felt so unworthy; so beneath me, yet it was always I who was in awe of him!

I couldn't bear to see my strong, powerful, _invincible _angel in such a state; helplessly _whimpering on his knees _to me! God, I even wished to see him ruthlessly commanding the managers! I longed to hear his booming majestic laugh; see the cunning gleam in his eyes; watch him strut around the Opera House with endearing arrogance._ Anything _other than him clutching the hem of my dress like a lost child, wetting it with his torrents of tears. It made me feel so... so _helpless._

I could only heal this broken man with my love, yet I knew that was the last thing I should do. And yet, seeing him in such a vulnerable state made me want to love him, oh how I wanted to! I wished that I could find the strength to love this dreadfully complex, wonderfully _remarkable _man; knowing that my frightened, immature mind would still overpower my wistful and wishful heart.

Confusion clouded my head. Tears clouded my vision. I could barely comprehend anything he said, though I knew they would undoubtedly be beautiful, articulate words of love. Even through erratic breathing and shuddering sobs, his voice was still a soft, silken splendour.

'Please be happy... pr-promise me you will be happy! Oh, my Christine, y-you are one of God's finest angels!'

He lifted his head and stared me straight in the eyes. My knees instantly weakened as his golden orbs bore into mine. He then gently, ever so _gently_ brushed a finger across my cheek, as if he were afraid that he would break me.

'So… so _beautiful_.' he breathed. 'Oh, how could I have expected one with beauty so unearthly to love a… a _monster?'_

He suddenly dropped his hand, his eyes retreating back to the floor.

'I… I am the monster. I am a hideous, hideous monster for hurting you! Forgive Erik, please say you will! I will die a happy man knowing that the person I love does not detest me… imagine that! How lucky I would be, if dear sweet Christine was different from the rest of the world!'

He spoke with none of his characteristic sarcasm, only an earnest desperation that sent more tears spurting down my cheeks. I was still too stunned to even protest; inwardly kicking myself for always being so weak.

'Oh, but Erik should not have such hopes! He… _I _should not keep selfishly thinking about my unsightly self, when all I really care about is my perfect angel!'

I couldn't bear hearing him talking about himself like that! Nor could I listen to him worship me in such a way; showering me with never-ending adoration and devotion which I did not deserve in the slightest! With sudden resolve, I spoke loudly and clearly, fighting back more tears which threatened to fall.

'Erik… I am far from angelic! I do not deserve any better than you do, especially after I have hurt you so-'

'Silly Christine, she does not understand how beautiful she is!' Erik interrupted. 'She cannot comprehend how even granting poor Erik with a _smile _makes her an angel in his eyes!'

He was speaking in third person again; a notion which always worried me. It was as if he was detaching himself even further from the world, when all I wanted was to rescue him and bring him back down to earth; to humanity!

'Erik, please listen to me! Believe me when I tell you that I-'

'There is nothing else to say. Y-you may leave when you wish… just leave and be happy!'

'B-but, I want _you _to be happy!' I mumbled tearfully.

Erik's expression softened, and the roles instantly reversed. He had been a father-figure to me for so many years, and I hadn't realised how much I missed his doting, protective gaze.

'Hush now, sweet Christine, and realise that I will only be happy if_ you _have every happiness life can offer! All I want is for you to live in a world which only resembles heaven, as heaven is the least that an angel such as you deserves! Promise me that you will live in constant bliss… sweet beautiful _bliss. _Conquer the world my love, do everything that I can never do!'

He clasped my hands, and I felt my body tremble under the sheer strength and enormity of his love. It was breathtaking to realise just how much this man really loves me; a sudden stab to my heart. I could only offer a shaky smile in return, secretly wishing for all that could never be. Erik sighed, and managed to return my smile with fierce determination.

'But please… please forget this hellish place! Forget this demonic face… only remember _us. _Oh Christine, remember our music! Remember your angel of music if you are ever lonely or afraid. And always remember that I love you, Christine Daaé, with all my heart and soul, forever and a day.'

His tears had not ceased, yet a look of complete peace and serenity graced his twisted features. He had never looked more like an angel. My imperfect angel.


	3. Chapter 3

**Yaaaaaay, thank you so much for all the lovely reviews- they made me smile! :D I hope you are enjoying the story so far; the idea actually came to me in a dream! I therefore have all my ideas already laid out, but if you ever have any suggestions then I would love to hear them! Anyway, enough of my rambling- as I don't want to give ANYTHING away! However, I would just like to make it clear that I am a complete E/C shipper, and this is only the beginning… **

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><p>Two weeks. It had been two long, lonely weeks since I last saw my angel. And those weeks seemed to drag on for <em>years! <em>Everything had strangely continued as normal; as if none of the extraordinary events of the past year had occurred. Raoul certainly seemed desperate to forget it all, as if it was simply a bizarre dream. I often wondered if it all _was_ a dream, yet only had to glance at my collection of wilting red roses to have memories come flooding back to me. And it was all real, so very real.

I could still recall his exact expression as I walked away: his sad smile; his glistening eyes. I could still hear his celestial voice whisper _'I love you, Christine Daaé, with all my heart and soul, forever and a day'._ Those words rang clear as a bell in my head, over and over again until I chastised myself with unwilling slumber. Sleeping seemed so petty and irrelevent, when all I could think about was him.

_Where was he now? _

_Was he alright? _

_Was he even still **alive? **_

That was the main question running circles around my mind. Every day I hoped and prayed that he was _safe;_ somewhere, somehow.

I begged God to give him happiness; a beam of light in his endless darkness. Although I couldn't help wondering if maybe, just maybe, God had sent _me _to be this burst of light in Erik's life! Had I really run away from what was always meant to be my destiny?

_What if… what if I were his only hope, and he would now never experience love?_

Oh the horrors that haunted me! Ghosts and demons seemed to whisper accusations at me at every turn. I was trapped in the frightening maze of my own thoughts, sometimes wondering if I had become as insane as poor Erik!

The dreams were even worse now, and occured almost every night. I never remembered exactly what happened in them; only that I saw _his_ face, heard _his_ voice, and felt _his _lips on mine. I often jolted awake with tears streaming down my cheeks, although I never knew why.

And Raoul, sweet, _kind _Raoul always came rushing into my bedchambers, desperately asking me what caused my tears.

'Christine, what ever is the matter? Come now, tell your loving fiance what bothers you, and I will give you anything you ask!' he would croon.

But he could never stop the tears. Oh no, the tears _always_ refused to stop.

'My _dear _Christine, please stop crying! I promise you that the wedding will all run smoothly my love, and we will be married within a months time! You needn't be stressed, my little dove, for you will be such a perfect bride for your husband!'

He was taking words out of my mouth. I had barely contemplated the fact that I was to be married. Dear god, how on earth could I go through with this _wedding?_

'You will never disappoint your husband, so you needn't fear about such things! Now, do stop crying, it is getting rather tiresome… when really, you have nothing to be upset about! I shall make you the happiest woman alive; my dear Comtesse de Chagny!'

Oh Raoul… he always meant well, yet his words didn't soothe and calm me like they used to. In fact, I would often zone out when he spoke, secretly imagining that I could hear my angel's voice instead; so much more melodic and sensual than Raoul's brash boisterous tone.

Oh, how I _craved _his voice! My world fell silent without his music; a rich unearthly sound which could never be replaced. It didn't help that Raoul had made me stop singing, claiming that it was 'improper to lower oneself when you are to be a Comtesse!'

I did not understand how singing would make me lower myself, when it was music which brought me to the greatest heights! Especially when I was with _him…_

_Oh his voice filled my spirit with a strange, sweet sound! In that night there was music in my mind… And through music my soul began to soar! _

But now my wings were clipped and I was bound, unable to fly again. My life was set out in front of me… though of course I was lucky, so very_ lucky _to have Raoul, my courageous childhood sweetheart! Many women _envied _my position; after all, Raoul was the most eligible bachelor in the whole of Paris!

But maybe I did not _want _to be lucky. Maybe I was not that girl.

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><p><strong>Opinions and suggestions would be greatly appreciated- so PLEASE REVIEW! <strong>


	4. Chapter 4

**This chapter is short, but entirely necessary. It has a TEENSY bit of R/C fluff, but please don't kill me- it won't last very long! Besides, I want to make my story as _realistic _as possible, and despite my dislike for Raoul, I really don't think that he would suddenly transform into an abusive alcoholic. I mean, _really? _Anyway, surely it's much more romantic if Christine makes the choice _herself_, and isn't merely fleeing from her abusive husband? As a loyal phangirl, I think that Erik deserves to be truly loved for himself, and not simply be a second choice! Yes? Okay? RANT OVER. But yeah, I'm still not gonna give toooooo much away, so expect the unexpected!**

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><p>I could only see blackness, and yet, it did not matter. For I could hear his voice; a soft caress to my pining ears.<p>

'_Chri-stine…' _breathed the voice, a ghostly shadow of _his _silky timbre. It was still undoubtedly _him _though, for no other man could possess such a melodious instrument!

The voice softly sang to me, taking me into its gentle angelic embrace. I knew that feeling. Yes, I remembered that feeling all too well.

'_Christine, Christine,' _the voice celestially sang.

'_Chri-stine…' _

I could feel myself smiling, wishing to be lost in that beautiful voice forever.

'Christine?'

The voice had changed! Oh, why had it changed? I could feel the dream slowly disappearing, as I desperately tried to grasp hold of his fading voice.

'Christine! Wake up Christine!'

The change of voice was entire; the dream was lost. It was as if I had been soaring across the stars, peacefully enveloped within the voice. But now it had gone, I was abruptly brought back to Earth with a thud. Oh I was such a lucky _lucky _girl…

I opened my eyes, only to see the perfectly handsome face of my fiancé. I couldn't help feeling childishly aggravated that he disturbed my dream, yet all anger instantly melted away when he smiled at me earnestly.

Oh Raoul… my dear fiancé; with the same golden locks he had as a boy, and eyes which were still the colour of a clear summer sky. Even though he was now every inch the sophisticated Vicomte; I still fondly saw him as the polite, charming twelve year old I met by the sea.

'Good morning Raoul,' I smiled.

'Ah Christine! Thank god you've awoken, we have so much to plan!'

I sat up sleepily, rubbing my eyes in confusion.

'…Plan?' I dumbly repeated.

Raoul shook his head in amusement.

'Plan for our _wedding_ of course! What could be more important than such an occasion?'

He then took my hands in his and looked me straight in the eyes; his face a picture of complete seriousness.

'After everything we have been through,' he tentatively said, 'we deserve to finally be united in the eyes of God. We needn't have any shame in our love now- it shall be for all the world to see!'

My smile became strained, for reasons I barely knew myself.

'Of course… you are too good to me Raoul.'

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><p><strong>A tad short, but I promise next chapter shall be a HUGE twist. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE REVIEW MY DARLINGS. Any thoughts and ideas are entirely welcome :) <strong>


	5. Chapter 5

It was all finally at an end. A grand finale to the tragedy which I suppose I should call _my life._ A life filled with bitterness, hatred and a never-ending darkness which I could not escape. Many claimed that I had a 'mind greater than any other'. A genius… a genius who could not escape from his own torturous fate! A fate of sheer _ugliness_ which perversely matched my horrific distortion- when all I yearned for was perfection, for pure beauty!

Although, I cannot complain. I always tried my best not to.

Even as I stood on fragile legs, with a needle poised in my shaking hand; I could not bring myself to curse God. For he _blessed_ me with one of his angels! He blessed me with the_ presence_ of sweetly compassionate, astonishingly beautiful Christine Daaé.

And she… she _tolerated_ me! Sometimes, I even thought that maybe there was a glimpse of _love_ in her eyes!

But that was simply foolishness.

_Nobody loves poor unhappy Erik… Erik is doomed to walk this earth without a single shred of affection!_

_But not anymore… for I will soon be swept into the gentle embrace of morphine, sweet pure morphine- my one loyal companion._

As I nervously rolled the needle between my fingers, I found myself laughing. I laughed bitterly at the irony of everything. I threw my head back and _laughed_ at the mocking irony of my entire existence. I laughed and laughed and laughed, almost wanting to prove myself to be the madman everyone claimed I had become.

But then I noticed something strange.

My face was wet.

My eyes were… _leaking?_

I raised my free hand to my face, only to find I was crying.

'How astonishing! The monster has a heart!' I sardonically proclaimed, as I unwillingly felt the tears fall faster. My uncaring bravado was rapidly fading, as I once again found my mind consumed by her perfectly beautiful face.

Oh, her sweet, innocently beautiful _face…_

I sank to my knees and moaned in despair, sobs wracking my entire frame.

_'Chris-tine…'_ I pathetically wept. 'Oh why Christine, _why?'_

It was time. I _knew_ it was time. I couldn't live without her… she was my world, my everything! She was the very air I breathed.

_What is the point in life, if it is to be without Christine? Now, I have truly reached my peak of wretchedness. I have nothing, absolutely nothing! I am a waste of space… a blot on humanity!_

The needle gently pricked my skin, urging me to release its poison.

_Mother was always right… my angelic voice will never never **never** compensate for my demonic face!_

_"You are no son of mine! With your devils face and your angels voice… oh, I wish you were dead!"_

_Your wish will come true now Mama._

My hands were shaking furiously, yet I still managed to push the plunger with force. Morphine was my friend. And I could already feel it rush through my parched, expectant veins.

_"The devil's child! Come and see the devils child…"_

_Although **she** never thought such horrors of me. To **her** I was in fact… an angel! Un ange de la musique. Her angel of music._

My skin felt clammy, yet I was shivering profusely. Shadows seemed to dance in front of my eyes, as my vision became increasingly hazy. There was an intense pain; a shortness of breath… yet I didn't notice, for I just felt wondrously confused! After all, this was the end of my seemingly _endless_ suffering!

Her face was still beautifully etched in my mind- perhaps it was a teasing parting gift from my taunting conscience! Oh, and sweet music graced my starved ears, for I heard her voice… still so stunningly soft and pure.

_"Angel of music, guide and guardian! Grant to me your glory…"_

'Oh Christine…' I sighed achingly.

_"Angel of music, hide no longer! Come to me strange angel…"_

Her voice was... _fading?_ No! I wouldn't let her leave me- she couldn't leave!

'Please Christine, I love you!'

But the voice had disappeared; as swiftly as the whisper of a soft summer breeze. Although it felt as if a hurricane was shattering my heart with unstoppable force.

'I love you, I love you, I love you!' I gasped. 'Pl-please Christine, it's just so… so _cold._'

The shivers were intensifying, and darkness was an infinite predator to my eyes. Although my blood-shot, tearful eyes were still searching for the face of my angel.

I knew she was there.

She _must_ be there, for I heard her voice! _Singing for me._

'Are you c-cold my dear? There is such an a-awful chill! I wish I could keep you warm… you deserve to a-always be safe and warm…'

Where was she? Why did she leave me? Why did everyone I love _always_ leave me?

'St-stay with me, Christine. Please… I love you! I… I love-'

And suddenly, everything went black.


	6. Chapter 6

**DUN-DUN-DUUUUUUUN! Mwahaha, sorry for giving you such a cliffy! I honestly didn't CHOOSE to update at a snails pace (especially at such a tense, potent moment in the story!), yet I promise I have valid excuses! Blame my art teacher for giving us so much freakin' coursework… and blame my parents for erm, 'forcing' me to go on holiday! xD Although I sincerely hope this chappy makes up for the ridiculously long wait :-) LOVE YOU ALL MUCHLY- mwah mwah mwah!**

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><p>Darkness still consumed my vision, and I felt as if I was sinking. Sinking into the murky waters of death. And yet, I could not feel the merciless, scorching flames of Hell beneath me… although I was ready, so ready for my inescapable fate. I was born with a face which instantly labelled me as 'spawn of the Devil', so it must have always been destiny for me to return to the Hellish fire where I belong.<p>

_I have been living in a twisted Hell all my life. Why would God have any mercy on me now?_

So where was the searing heat; the irrepressible pain; the howling demons ready to enslave me? All I could feel was nothingness. Nothing other than the sheer _heavenly_ feeling that I was slipping away; _falling_ away from the life which has tormented me since my very first breath. And I was literally falling. It was quite peaceful really; a comforting thought. It was all over.

No more despair.

No more misery.

No more madness.

And of course: no more yearning for what I can never have.

_Christine._

Her beautiful face still filled my every hazed thought. Yet now, at least _she would be free. _She would be so much better without me. The entire _world_ would! I was doing everyone a favour by sinking deeper into this abyss of nothingness… an intangible peace which I had never experienced.

_Oh, how **wonderful **it feels to die._

Though suddenly, the peace was disrupted.

I was being slowly dragged back to the surface… _back to life?_

I could hear an inaudible voice. The desperate, incomprehensible cries of a… a _woman?_ This, accompanied with the sound of strange, erratic _thumps,_ left me more confused than ever. All I wanted was to sink back down and continue with my infinite descent to death, yet the fierce pull was irreversible.

I tried to fight against it, but felt disembodied; non-existent. For once in my life, I was entirely powerless. And I sure as hell did not like it.

A sudden lightness was looming, and I could feel myself getting closer and closer to… _whatever_ it was that was pulling me back. The thumps got louder, as did the female voice- which was now irritatingly recognisable.

_Antoinette Giry_. Oh, that insufferable, meddling woman!

"Erik… Erik? _Erik!'_

I felt myself being gently shaken, although my body refused to move in response.

"Oh Erik! Please, please, _please_wake up! Come on dear, you can do it!"

I couldn't move a muscle.

"_For God's sake_ Erik! Just open your eyes!"

My eyes automatically fluttered open in response. When Antoinette spoke with such a commanding, steely tone, I still found it difficult to disobey her.

"Oh thank God!" She began sobbing with relief. My stomach was somersaulting, and my head felt on the brink of exploding, yet I still managed a wry smile.

_Nobody has ever expressed their wish for me to be alive before._

This reminded me of my potent desire for death, and a scowl instantly swiped my uncharacteristic smile away. I attempted to scold her for saving me, yet pathetically only managed a wheezing cough and the word 'why'.

_Wonderful. Now even my prized 'angelic' voice is betraying me!_

Antoinette didn't even hear my pitiful attempt at speaking; she was too busy laughing through her tears, probably immensely proud of herself. Proud of what? Ruining my escape of this sheer torture of a life? After clearing my throat several times, I managed to proclaim my strong-worded thoughts in a weak, trembling voice which barely sounded like my own.

"Wh-why… can't I even… fucking_** die **_in peace?"

Madame Giry wiped her eyes and shot me a disapproving look.

"That is not the type of language I expect from you, Erik Destler! Especially not to the woman who _saved your life!" _

I groaned.

"My _life?_I don't even have a life worth living… especially n-not-" I paused in an attempt to swallow my tears. "Not without her."

At this point, Antoinette's face softened, and she smiled at me sadly. As I emitted another ferocious cough, she wrapped her arms around me and began to attempt to hoist me into a sitting position.

"Now, whether you like it or not, you _are_ going to live. Therefore, I think it's best if we got you comfortably resting in bed…" she said briskly.

However, pulling me upright proved to be a big mistake. In response to the abrupt movement, my stomach lurched. Much to my humiliation, I was suddenly, _horribly_ sick all over Madame Giry.

She barely flinched; just shook her head and sighed.

"Oh dear…" she murmured sympathetically. Through ragged breaths, I managed to stutter a brief apology, before retching again; my vomit spattering all over the stone floor. Antoinette rubbed my back soothingly, until my stomach felt much calmer and the floor was a complete, disgusting mess. I felt weak, fragile and completely drained of energy; falling back onto the floor, uncaring of the pain produced when my head collided with the hard grey stone. I shut my eyes in misery.

"Just let me die…" When Antoinette didn't reply, I opened one eye. _"Please?"_ I added, for extra emphasis. She still said nothing, yet obviously opposed my thoughts, as she then decided to grab me under the arms, literally yank me upright, and use all the strength she could muster to pull me into a standing position. But I was as limp as a rag doll; feebly collapsing back onto the floor.

It took her several attempts before I was on my feet, staggering drunkenly until she steadied me with both hands and began to escort me to my bed. My damnable stomach began clenching again, but I fought with all my might to not humiliate myself for the third time.

_Blasted morphine._

But thankfully, I managed to stay dignified as we journeyed (with immense difficulty) towards the bedroom; my body ungracefully crashing onto the bed as soon as it was in sight.

Madame Giry sighed in amusement at the sight of the infamous, greatly feared Phantom of the Opera; now a pathetic, whimpering bundle upon the bed. She managed to assemble me so that I was comfortably lying beneath the scarlet quilt; my throbbing head cushioned by the soft pillows.

"Get some rest now Erik, I will be here if you need anything." Antoinette stated simply.

Before I could emit any protestations about 'being treated like a child', I found myself drifting into unwilling slumber, feeling a strange warmth in my heart at the revelation that someone actually cared.

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><p><strong>Yaaaaaaaay, Erik is still alive! :3 Well duh, did you honestly think I would kill our beloved, beautiful Erik? D: NEVER EVER EVER. But uh, ANYWAY, hope you liked the chapter (: Pretty please review! Much more to come soon! Hehehe and if you all review, I promise to update quicker ;-) <strong>


	7. Chapter 7

_I curled into a tight ball, shaking with intense fear as I lay upon vile, dirty straw; damp from a disgusting mixture of my own vomit and urine. Sobs wracked my skeletal frame, and my tears were a continuous salty waterfall. I was starving, cold and scared out of my wits. The looming bars of the cage imprisoned me, making me feel petrified of the unknown. _

_Why was I here? _

_Where was my mama? _

_**Oh Mama. **_

_Even though I was painfully aware that she did not love me, I wanted nothing more than to return __**home. **__Oh, I would be such a good boy! I wouldn't even try to __**touch**__ her! I could just admire her beauty from a distance; relish the familiar musty smell of the attic. _

_Safe. Always safe. _

_She wouldn't even know I existed! She would get her wish… I would do anything for her. Anything to escape this unfamiliar __**prison. **_

'**Mama!' **_I wept. 'Mama, Mama, Mama!' __My voice became hysterical with fear. _

'_P-please Mama… I want to go home! I promise I will be a good boy! I promise-' _

_The cage door opened. My head jerked up in a wild rush of hope, yet the door shut just as suddenly. A large, looming figure began striding towards me; the sound of his footsteps sending chills up my spine. He was a tall, meaty man; with dark, greasy tufts of hair and a horrible toothless grin. _

_Who was he? _

_And more importantly, __**what **__**was he going to do to me?**_

_He suddenly emitted a malicious, booming laugh which made me jump. I recoiled in fear, curling tighter into a whimpering, quivering ball. _

'_P-please Monsieur, let me go home!' _

_He continued to laugh, approaching me with frightening menace. Then, to my complete horror, he pulled out a whip. I reflexively moved backwards, my small, timid heart beating furiously. _

'_I… I want my Mama!' _

_The advancing giant smiled his awful smile, and spoke in a deep guttural voice which I would never, __**never**__ forget. _

'_Your precious 'Mama' isn't here to save you now... you belong to __me! __Oh yes, your ugly little face is going to make me some __**beautiful **__money!' He paused, his eyes glittering with menacing madness. '__**My Devil's Child!' **_

_I screamed in agony as the whip viciously attacked my back; a searing pain consuming me. He roared with elated laughter, as he joyously lashed the whip repetitively against my small fragile body. I howled in pain, anguish and horror as I saw my own blood spatter against the hay…_

'Erik?'

_The whip continued to slam against my back, and I tasted blood. The scarlet substance spilled out of my mouth uncontrollably as I cried again and again for my mother… but she never came. _

_'Erik! _Wake up!**'**

My eyes flew open, only to see the concerned face of Antoinette Giry. Sweat was pouring down my face, and I found myself panting for breath. I looked around wildly, trying to convince myself that I was safe in my bedroom, yet the nightmarish world of my past still possessed me.

'M-my master, the cage… the whip! Oh god, the whip… it hurts! Please make it stop! _Make… it… stop!'_

Madame Giry awkwardly patted my back, attempting to quiet my hysterical sobs.

'Hush, it's alright… everything is going to be alright. It was only a nightmare,' she soothed.

But I was still shaken, and wished for nothing more than to lie in Christine's warm embrace, and be lost in her sweet beauty forever. But her arms were only a place for that… that _boy_ now.

I forced back a growl of frustration, and wiped my tears with a shaky sigh. At least my attention was now diverted from the horror of my nightmare. They occurred often… these nightmares which torturously replayed the worst memories of my childhood. It was like they were coming back to haunt me; the ghosts of my past which would never, _never_ go away. That was why I wanted to die, for it was my only escape from such horrors! And without Christine, I had absolutely nothing to live for.

I decided there and then that as soon as Antoinette left, I would kill myself. Suicide: 'the ultimate sin'. And yet, I knew I was already damned, so why continue suffering when my fate has been sealed already? My fate… which had undoubtedly been decided from the moment I was born.

Unfortunately, my sweet departure from this bitter world had to be delayed for several weeks, as that blasted woman refused to leave until I had 'recovered'.

Ha! How can she expect _me _to ever recover? In my eyes, all I am suffering with is a broken heart, and _that _will never heal. Oh no, Christine Daaé will be permanantly etched in my mind, body and soul; death not even threatening to break my eternal love for her. If I had not sinned so greatly in life, I would have always looked over her after my death; as her real Angel of Music.

Yet, perhaps the term 'Devil's Child' suited me better.

Those nightmares plagued my every thought, causing me to be afraid to sleep at night. It was only the presence of my sweet angel which prevented my nightmares; as every precious night she stayed with me in my lair, I found myself falling into the unfamiliar bliss of _peaceful _sleep! How wonderful it was to awake feeling rested and refreshed, also knowing that the love of my entire exisistence was asleep in the next room.

_Breathing the same air I breathed._

Oh, how I missed her! All I longed for was to blissfully sleep in her arms; caress her delicately beautiful face; kiss her perfect lips; and entwine my voice with hers to create pure, unearthly beauty through music. _Our music. _

Although now, I was surrounded by silence.

Excruciating memories still haunted my mind as I slept, and I awoke screaming most nights. Antoinette always tried her best to comfort me, yet she could never have the same impact as Christine's mere _presence._

But I would never see her again.

I _could _never see her again, for I refused to break my promise. I refused to destroy the perfect world of happiness which she deserved.

So surely, it would be best for me to simply… disappear?


	8. Chapter 8

**This is a verrrrrrry short chappy, but it's a necessary one which I didn't wish to expand on too much. After all, there is SUCH a lot of fabulous fluff to come! It may not look like things are very happy for E****rik and Christine at the moment… but I PROMISE that if you all leave me reviews like the lovely, adorable readers you are, things will dramatically change very very soon… ;) **

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><p>Days passed… weeks passed… and still, Antoinette would not leave. Of course, I <em>could <em>have simply killed her. But that would have been more of a sin than any of the horrors I had ever committed.

Forget manipulating the two fools who run the Opera Populaire into madness.

Forget killing innocent men who threatened my territory as the menacing Phantom.

Even forget building torture chambers for the Shah of Persia in order to create '_amusing deaths'! _

For nothing… _nothing _could be worse than killing the one person who remained loyal to me until the end. How could I kill my only friend? How could I even _threaten _the woman who saved my life instead of sending me away to be imprisoned; to be put on display? I could not.

Instead, I simply appeased her; reluctantly allowing her to nurse me to the best of her ability.

I must admit, she did a commendable job: wiping my feverish forehead; cleaning up any messy results of my intial sickness; feeding me daily (despite my fierce objections); and even escorting me on any necessary trips to the bathroom.

She originally had placed a small china pot by my bedside, yet I was thoroughly disgusted when she embarrassedly told me what it was to be used for. From then onwards, I made it very clear to her that I would _not, _under any circumstances, piss into a pot like a damned trained animal! I had lived like an animal once, and I was certainly not willing to do so again.

Despite our occasional 'differences in opinion', I found myself rather enjoying Antoinette's company. After all, when one lives alone in a cellar, _any _company is found enjoyable!

_Apart from rats. Blasted things. _

And yet, I still had the niggling desire to end it all; to fade away from this world in which I could never seem to belong.

Therefore as soon as I had returned to my full health, I bid Antoinette goodbye; with my humbled thanks and gracious blessings to her and her family. And for once in my life, I truly meant it. She was one of the only people whom I would wish well before leaving this cruel world… a departure which I awaited with keen anticipation.

And everything had worked out wonderfully.

I had managed to persuade dear Madame Giry that my mind was at least _slightly _stable, and that I was fit to be left alone. She left with no idea of my intentions of resumed suicide, yet had unknowingly provided me with a guarenteed lack of disturbance for the task.

You see, with the kind intention of preserving my _safety, _Antoinette had promised me that she would notify the gendarmes of my 'fictional' death; also ensuring that the news was publisized, so that nobody would ever try to find me.

The world would rejoice; thinking me to be dead.

She would never know that such a scandalous lie would soon become the infinite truth. I had waited to escape from this wretched life for so long, and could only eagerly prepare myself for what had always been my fate.

All the while, Christine Daaé remained safe within my thoughts; stimulating every pained beat of my heart.


	9. Chapter 9

**THIS IS MY LONGEST CHAPTER YET, WOOOOOOOOO! Very proud of myself :3 Hehehe, hope you all enjoy...**

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><p>'<em>Wishing you were somehow here again, <em>

_Wishing you were somehow near…_

_Sometimes it seemed if I just dreamed, somehow you would be here! _

_Wishing I could hear your voice again,_

_Knowing that I never would…_

_Dreaming of you won't help me to do, all that you dreamed I-'_

At this point my voice cracked; choked by the heart-broken sobs which wracked my body. For the first time in years, I simply _could not _sing! I couldn't bear to- not now that he was… he was _gone. _Another sob spilled from my raw throat, as I desperately clutched the tattered newspaper; already torn from my repetitive clawing at the words it cruelly screamed. Those words… those eight little words may have appeared insignificant to others, even trivial. For most, it would be a mystery; for some it would be an enormous relief. But for me? Those eight words were the end to everything. They instantly obliterated the fragile world of my fantasies; destroying years of pure, beautiful memories in their path. Those eight words were an explosion; shattering my heart into smithereens as I finally realized whom it belonged to. Whom it had _always _belonged to.

Eight little words. Did you know that words can kill?

Eight little words. Words which would haunt me until my last, pained breath.

"_The infamous Phantom of the Opera is dead."_

A whisper. A sob. A shout. A scream. _Nothing _could ever erase those poignantly devastating words… and yet, I still refused to believe.

'He… he can't be dead!' I sobbed in anguish. 'H-how can he be dead? He's my angel… oh my poor, poor _angel!'_

All the noise had caused Raoul to come rushing into the room, his handsome face filled with worriment and confusion.

'Christine!' he cried, heroically dashing towards me; his expression similar to that of a proud knight about to save an imprisoned princess.

I ignored him; lost in the haze of my tears and the sheer _torturous_ sensation of my heart snapping in two. His strong stance deflated, as he looked over at me in bewilderment. He obviously expected me to be crying over… over a _wedding dress _or something! Definitely something related to our impending wedding at least. The last thing he probably expected was to see me rocking backwards and forwards with tears spurting down my cheeks; desperately clutching at a torn newspaper in howling agony!

'Christine? Oh god, whatever is the matter?'he cried, looking completely horrified at the current state of his fiancé.

I managed to momentarily quiet my sobs, and looked up at him through tear-filled eyes. 'My Angel of Music is dead.'I whispered solemnly.

His first reaction was a quirk of the eyebrow in obvious puzzlement, which soon transformed into a look of sheer shock. A fresh set of tears welled up in my eyes, as I remembered the similar look of shock which graced my angel's face after I kissed him. He gazed at me with such sweetly ecstatic astonishment, as if I were a _Goddess_, or-

_'He_ is dead? My god, the Phantom of the Opera…' Raoul suddenly murmured, almost to himself. Then, a truly disgusting sound filled the air. He started _laughing. _'Thank God! That, that _monster _is finally dead!'

Absolutely sickened by his behaviour, I slapped Raoul hard across the face; a satisfying yelp of pain muting his laughter.

'Christine!' he thundered. 'What the bloody hell was that for? Surely you're not _upset _that this… this _beast _is finally gone?'

He sighed in exasperation, unable to realize why his actions hurt me so. As if to prove his point, he flung his arms in the air wildly and spluttered, 'That hideous…_ thing _tried to kill me!'

I took several deep breaths and attempted to calm myself, although I was trembling with a mixture of rage and utter distress.

'Raoul! He was not a _thing._ Neither was he a monster, or a demon, or anything the world brandished him as!'

My lower lip began quivering, yet I ignored it. I had to speak my mind now, or I would forever be trapped in a world full of lies. It wouldn't be fair to Raoul, to myself, or most importantly; to Erik. I was too naïve to understand the truth when he was alive; too _afraid _to dare believe the true feelings which stirred within my heart, And yet, it was the most bitter of all bitter-sweet ironies; that I had finally realized the truth now he lay… _dead._ The very least he deserved was to hear the unchangeable truth now; even if the mere thought of its cruel mockery broke my heart.

_This is for you Erik. This… is for you._

I then spoke in a much softer tone, trying to control the tears which threatened to fall.

'He wasn't even an angel,' I whispered. 'He was simply Erik. _My _Erik.'

Raoul didn't speak. In fact, he barely breathed.

'I'm truly sorry Raoul, really I am. I love you… but, it can never be in the way you had hoped.'

'Wha… what are you saying Christine?' Raoul questioned, his voice trembling slightly with unmistakable fear. Once again, he reminded me painfully of the little boy I met by the sea. If only he had stayed safe within those memories… carefully locked away inside my fond mind, simply as my childhood best friend.

'Raoul… I cannot be engaged to you any longer. I refuse to lie to you, because that would simply make us both unhappy, especially when there are many beautiful women who would happily be your bride! I am not worthy of your love,' I humbled, praying that I wouldn't manage to break two hearts in the space of three months.

Raoul stared at me, his mouth slightly agape with shock.

'What? Christine, what are you talking about… wh-why? Why would you say this? You… you love _me!' _he stuttered desperately, clutching hold of my hand.

'No, Raoul.' I said softly, gently withdrawing my hand from his grasp. 'It... it is _him_ whom I love.' I took a deep breath, preparing myself to finally reveal the truth. And tragically, it was what had _always _been the truth, deep inside my timidly yearning heart. 'I love Erik.'

There, I had finally said it. A look of horror washed over Raoul's handsome features, and he exhaled sharply; as if trying to suppress a roaring cry of defeat.

'No… no, you _can't_love him! Why? Why would you choose him over me?'

'Because I love him.' I answered simply. 'He is... _was..._a wonderful, wonderful man. Nobody understood him… because nobody _knew_ of the sheer torment he experienced. Imagine, living in solitude for your entire life for something which you have no control over! Oh Raoul, there was such a… such a terrible pain in his eyes. It was as if they were filled with all the loneliness of the world; an intense _sadness_ which made everything he has ever done instantly forgivable. He had such beautiful eyes, like pools of golden starlight…'I sighed wistfully. 'By looking in his eyes, I felt as if the _world_ did not matter. It was just him and I, lost in our beautiful music… together.'

As I spoke, it was as if I could _feel him; _sensually whispering in my ear, caressing my face, wrapping his strong arms around me in his protective embrace. These sensations were all created purely by my imagination now, and were sweet pleasures which I would never experience again. This drove me onward with fierce resonance; my professions of love urging the truth to sink deeper and deeper- until it became excruciating.

'It was when he first called to me… a-as the Angel of Music,' I breathed. 'That was when I first fell in love with him.'

Raoul just stared at me, pale-faced; his eyes glassy with unshed tears.

'I was always far too foolish, naïve and… _afraid_ to realize it! It is only now-' I began sobbing again, unable to control the painful memories hurtling through my mind. 'Now that I have lost him, I have realized just how much he meant to me. I l-loved him because he was the most beautiful man the world has ever known. The scars upon his face could never alter the pure beauty of his soul… the soul of an incredible, astounding genius who hid behind a mask; shrouding himself in shadows in an attempt to conceal the fact that he was merely a man. A man who was desperate to be loved, _truly_ loved for himself. It was the least he deserved… and-'I gulped, attempting to swallow my tears, 'and I denied him all he had ever wished for! When I love him! Oh, I love him, I love him, I love him… and now he is _gone!' _

By some miracle, I found myself sobbing in the arms of my fiancé, proclaiming my undying love for his enemy. It was a strange twist of fate, and yet somehow Raoul must have learnt to accept it: my heart would forever belong to another.

As he comfortingly stroked my hair, he whispered, 'You are right… he _is_gone.' He swallowed, taking a deep breath as if to compose himself. 'So now, surely you should just leave it all behind you. Think about _us._ Think of the life we could have together- you know I would give you anything you desire, Christine! Please stay with me, don't fritter your life away for a love which can never exist. You must face the facts… he is _dead! _And I am a living man, who is willing to love you.'

I looked up into Raoul's lovely blue eyes; eyes which would make many women simper and swoon and fan themselves in a fluster. However, I simply found myself longing to gaze into eyes that were a beautiful hue of gold. Yes… _only_ ever gold.

With a sad smile, I softly kissed Raoul upon the lips; lingering only for a moment, inwardly knowing that it would be the last.

'Oh Raoul… dear, sweet Raoul! You know how much I care for you, which is why I must leave. I always promised Papa that I would stay true to myself, and I always promised myself that I would stay true to _you._ I cannot live a lie, and cannot condemn you to believing in a world of perfection which exists only inside your head! My heart is his, and death will never change such inevitable bonds. I am bound to him forever Raoul, and nothing you do or say will ever change that.'

I pulled him into an embrace, and sighed as he numbly wrapped his arms around me.

'I am so, so sorry… but I promise you, this is for the best. I hope, oh god I hope, that you will find blissful happiness; it's all that you deserve!'

I pulled away, and gave him a full smile; despite the tears streaming down my face.

'Are you… are you absolutely sure that this is what you want? Y-you don't love me?' Raoul choked, as if trying to suppress tears of his own.

But I could show no pity.

I _had _to stay strong; I _had _to do it for my angel.

'You know it's him whom I love. It's… it's always been _him.'_

With firm resonance, I turned on my heel; ready to leave the de Chagny mansion forever.

'Goodbye Raoul. May God bless you with all the happiness in the world.'

I didn't look back. I just knew that I had to get out, and get away from everything. I began to run. I felt the wind beat against my face. It was as if I was flying; finally set free from the cage which had trapped me ever since I left _him. _

Although I satisfied myself with the illusory feeling of soaring through the sky, I knew that all I was doing was running. Running and running and running until I couldn't even draw breath from exhaustion. I heard the sound of wretched cries, and soon realized that it was I who was crying. I didn't know where I was, for I felt completely disorientated and _hopeless. _

_The person who I love more than anything in the world is dead. _

My sobs became more and more hysterical as it all began to fully sink in.

_My love was all he ever wanted… and he will now never know that I was__** always**__ his. _

I cried for Erik.

I cried for myself.

I cried for our star-crossed love, and sank to my knees in sheer misery.

As I collapsed onto the cobbled ground, I truly felt _desperate _to die. What was the point of this world without Erik? In my mind, there was suddenly nothing left for me.

In the space of _months; _I had gone from having the luxury of two men fighting over me, to a weeping, crumpled heap mourning her lost love. All I wanted was to wallow alone in the peak of my misery, yet still felt there was something important I must do.

_I must go back._

_Yes. _

_I need to return to where this all started._

_Yes!_

_I need to breathe the same air he had once breathed. _

_**Yes!**_

Gathering myself together, I forcefully wiped my face free of tears, and dusted down my dress in order to look presentable. Soon enough, a horse and carriage approached; the man sat at the reins instantly noticing me with a smile. I smiled nervously back, as the carriage screeched to a halt.

'Are you alright, love? D'ya fancy a lift someplace?' he asked in a broad accent; his voice both rough yet kindly at the same time.

I anxiously fumbled in my pockets, in search of money which I did not have.

'I-I'm terribly sorry, but I don't think I have any money…'

'Aw, that's okay love! I wouldn't let a pretty little thing like you freeze out on the streets! Jump in, and tell me anywhere you'd like to go! Well, within reason, of course…'

I cautiously stepped into the carriage, thanking the friendly driver with a broken smile.

'Can you take me to the Paris Opera House, please?'

'Of course, mademoiselle.'

This was it. I was going to return to the dark world of my fallen angel; the strange, magical realm which always haunted my dreams.

The journey was long, and I found myself become dazed; almost in a dream-like state as I thought fondly of _him. _Memories came flooding back to me, stirring both an intense pain and pleasure within my heart. I became so absorbed in my thoughts, that I could picture Erik, sat beside me in the carriage. I knew it was my imagination, yet he looked _so real. _

He suavely wore his standard black suit; ebony hair falling into his beautiful amber eyes, which seemed to be more dazzling than ever. He wore no mask, yet it did not bother me in the slightest. If anything, I had been _craving _to see his face; parallel to my desperation to hear his heavenly voice once more.

I looked straight into the eyes of this teasing vision, and without clarity or consciousness; I began to sing for him.

'_My love, leave yourself behind, Beat inside me, leave you blind. My love, you have found peace, You were searching for release._

_You gave it all, into the call._ _You took a chance and_ _You took the fall for us._

_You came thoughtfully,_ _Loved me faithfully._ _You taught me honour,_ _You did it for me._

_Tonight, you will sleep for good._ _You will wait for me, my love._

_Now I am strong, you gave me all._ _You gave all you had,_ _And now I am home._ _ My love, leave yourself behind, Beat inside me, leave you blind. My love, look what you can do, I am mending, I'll be with you._

_You took my hand, and added a plan._ _You gave me your heart,_ _I asked you to dance with me._

_You loved honestly,_ _Gave what you could release. __Now I am alone, __But bathed in your glory. _

_I know, you're pleased to go,_ _I won't relieve this love._

_Now I am strong, you gave me all._ _You gave all you had,_ _And now I am home._

_My love, leave yourself behind._ _Beat inside me, I'll be with you…'_

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><p><strong>Awh yay… she has <strong>_**finally **_**realized that she loves him! :') Ooh, and in case any of you are interested, the song Christine sings at the end is 'My Love' by Sia :) Yes, it isn't exactly **_**operatic, **_**but I think it's a really touchingly beautiful song… which completely relates to Christine and Erik! :D But a-hem, ANYWAY, things are reeeeeally starting to get tense for our favourite couple now! D: Although I DID promise you all some fluff… and Christine just so **_**happens **_**to be journeying to Erik's lair, where he may be preparing to commit suicide. Any ideas of what should happen in the next chapter…? Anyone? ;-) If you have a **_**slight**_** preference of any kind, please review! If I get lots of lovely reviews, there may be an equally lovely little reunion in the next chap… **


	10. Chapter 10

**Yayayay, this is my favourite chapter so far! :D And it's probably also my best chapter… especially as this is where our story REALLY begins! Mwahaha, I'm not saying anymore; you will simply have to keep reading to find out why! ;)**

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><p>I had found the perfect method for a quick and easy suicide. As much as I believed that I deserved all the pain in the world, I couldn't risk being 'rescued' again. This had to be infinite. This had to be <em>it. <em>The end to my pitiful attempt of existence. A release from my yearning for all I can never have: a woman who defines beauty; everything which I am not.

Although if she loved me, I would have _changed _for her! There would not be a day in which I would not strive to be worthy of her love; I would become a much better man in every way. If Christine loved me, I would be as gentle as a lamb! But alas, she does not. As a result, there is still a fearsome lion rampaging within my heart, urging me to depart this cruel world before it devours _me. _

So with fierce resolution, I picked up my choice of weapon. A sharp, protruding blade which glistened brilliantly, even in the darkness blanketing my lair. Killing myself with my Punjab lasso would be far too ironic, so I decided that stabbing myself was the best option. Tears pricked my eyes, which I clamped shut; focussing on the clear memory of _her _face.

_Christine._

I pictured her clothed in white, with her dark silken tresses framing her perfect, pale face. As usual, she was the stunning vision of an angel. I imagined her serene, celestial voice; singing for me one last time.

'_I want sweet, beautiful Christine to be the last thing I ever hear and see… perhaps the sound of her voice will peacefully lull me into this incessant sleep,' _I thought childishly, suddenly afraid.

_Oh for God's sake, why am I afraid? It is others who fear __**me!**__ I am the Angel of Death; the Devil's Child; the Phantom of the Opera… how can I be afraid of what I truly desire?_

_Death is all I want now._

_And death will soon be mine._

I picked up the dagger and held it between my pale, shaking hands, breathing deeply to compose myself. My eyes remained closed, so all I could see was blackness- and the ghostly image of Christine Daaé; conjured by my love-sick mind. I pictured her singing a requiem; a perfectly pretty ending to my life of ugliness.

The tip of the blade rested against my chest, and I prepared myself with several more deep breaths. I was ready to plunge the dagger into my heart, when I heard the whisper of my name.

It was Christine.

She sounded… so real! As if she was in the same room as I, standing at a distance. But I couldn't allow the voices inside my head to fool me. This had to done… it _had _to.

I refused to open my eyes, and kept the dagger pressed against my chest; small spots of blood beginning to stain my white linen shirt.

'Erik?' Her voice had become louder, and sounded almost _faint _with sheer disbelief.

'L-leave me… I refuse to let you haunt me anymore! It's over, it _will_ be over!' I cried in anguish, cursing my twisted mind.

'_Erik!'_ Her voice became shrill; rising several octaves until it was almost a scream. 'Erik, put the knife down! Whether you're a figurative of my imagination or not, _please _drop the knife! Why? Why are you always inside my head?' she sobbed wretchedly.

My eyes snapped open. 'A figurative of _your _imagination? It is _you, _my dear, who-'

The blade suddenly fell to the floor. I didn't even notice, for I was too busy staring at the woman standing before me; tears staining her porcelain cheeks. A petite woman… dressed with all the sophistication of a _Vicomtess._

Her hair was a mane of delightful chocolate curls; her rose-bud lips slightly parted in a mixture of shock and confusion. Faint freckles dusted her delicate nose, and her skin was like freshly fallen snow.

A picture of pure beauty.

And yet, her lovely brown eyes seemed to be somewhat… _lifeless. _As if she had lost that brilliant spark which made her… _her. _But I still knew that it was _my_ angel standing in the doorway; a vision I had relentlessly dreamed of ever since she left.

She was real.

She was _really _here!

Oh, but why? Why would she return to me after everything I had done? After she had to left to live in a world of riches, beauty and _happiness? _

'Dear god…' I breathed in utter awe and disbelief, drinking in the sight of her as if she would disappear at any moment.

'E-Erik?' All colour drained from her face, and she simply stared at me; strangely reciprocating the awe in my expression. 'Are… are you _real?' _she asked timidly, sounding very much like the child who had once cried in desperation for an Angel of Music.

'Yes,'I said weakly. 'Unfortunately, I am very much so.'

More tears spilled from her devastatingly beautiful eyes, and she was visibly trembling.

'But you… you were dead!' she accused.

'Well, it appears that I'm not actually _dead, _at this present moment in time,' I drawled sarcastically.

_Erik! What the __hell __are you doing? You want this woman to _**_love _**_you!_

'Although of course, I would have been sufficiently dead by now, had you not disturbed the wonderful task. But never fear, my love, you shall be free of me soon; the entire _world_will!' I continued dramatically.

'You're alive…' Christine whispered. 'Oh Erik, you're_ alive!'_

'Why would you care? Go back Christine, go back to your precious Vicomte and enjoy your _splendid_wedding! Forget about your poor-'

My 'farewell' speech was abruptly cut off; my uncaring demeanour immediately shattered, as Christine suddenly hurled herself into my arms. I became a speechless statue as the woman whom I loved more than the entire world _threw her arms around me; _unknowingly making all my dreams come true at once. I shakily took everything in: her cascade of curls tickling my nose; the heart-breaking sound of her sobs muffled by my shirt; the softly comforting yet extremely _arousing _feeling of having her pressed so tightly against my body.

Despite the whirlwind of emotions racing through my aching head, aching heart and embarrassingly aching _groin_, I managed to slowly wrap my arms around her, creating an intimate embrace which I had only ever fantasized about.

'Christine…' I sighed. 'Christine, Christine, Christine…'

She grabbed greedy fistfuls of my shirt, as if trying to cling onto me forever.

'_If only that were true,' _I thought wistfully.

After minutes of simply relishing the feeling of being in each other's arms, she looked up at me with a small smile; her eyes now beautiful and alive.

'Promise me that you will never do anything like that again!' she demanded with soft resonance.

'Oh Christine… can't you understand that this is the best thing for both of us? I... I cannot _live _without you; you are the very air I _breathe._**' **I proclaimed passionately, pulling away so that I could look her straight in the eyes.

'You are both my reason for existence and my greatest weakness. The one thing I can never deny is my love for you, and I will always, _always _love you-'

'I love you too,' she interrupted suddenly.

Those four words were what I had been waiting for… for an entire _lifetime. _They were spoken in a timid whisper, yet struck me with all the power of lightening.

'Wh-_what?_' I gasped.

A full smile graced Christine's beautiful features, and she spoke again in a voice filled with confidence and pure joy.

'Yes! Yes Erik, I love you! I… I have _always_loved you.'

Her sweet, sincere face blurred as tears gathered in my eyes, threatening to spill whilst sobs rose in my throat. I found myself struggling to breathe, as the sheer enormity of her words hit me like a bullet to the brain.

'Y-you what? Love… me? Me? Wha- how… why?'

An adorable, sunny laugh filled the air, as Christine cocked her head in amusement.

'Oh dear, it appears that I have rendered the fearsome Opera Ghost speechless!' she chuckled.

For a moment, I simply stared at her with a stupid smile on my face; transfixed by her mere _happy _presence.

Until my conscience shook me back to my senses, that is.

_For goodness sake Erik, the woman whom you have made __**a shrine **__to has just confessed her undying love, and you are standing there like a gormless idiot! Pull. Yourself. Together! _

My smile immediately faded, as I attempted to make any sense from the situation.

'_How could a perfect angel like Christine ever love you?' _the nastier side of my conscience taunted. '_You are nothing but a monster!' _

'Christine, I am nothing but a monster!' I agreed. 'How can you love… _this?' _I painfully questioned, pointing to my mask in shame.

Her expression softened, and she looked at me with pitying eyes.

'I have learnt my lesson Erik. Having to live in a world without you… I couldn't bear it! Losing you has made me truly open my eyes…'

Her words almost moved me to tears, yet nothing could have prepared me for her next actions. Before I knew it, my mask had been ripped from my face. Her eyes whispered a thousand apologies, as I let out a howl of anguish and covered my face with both hands, recoiling away from her. But she wasn't finished yet.

'Erik, please… you were given one more chance at life so _please,_ give me another chance too! I… I want to see your face,' she said plainly and calmly. 'I _need_ to see your face!'

'And what about what I need?' I growled. 'Do you really think I need to see the love of my life _screaming_ in horror at the mere sight of me?'

'But I won't! I promise you I won't! Please let me show you love Erik!' she pleaded, tears gathering in her eyes. 'Please let me love you- _all_ of you, as you deserve.'

With tear-stained cheeks and shaking hands, I slowly revealed my face to her. More tears spilled as I shut my eyes, not wanting to see her horrified reaction. I felt cool air hitting the deformed side of my face; a sensation which created a familiarly nauseous feeling of dread in the pit of my stomach.

I waited for the sudden gasps.

For the piercing screams.

For the desperate footsteps as she ran away from me forever…

But I heard nothing.

_Oh dear God, what if she's fainted?_

I started to panic; my lower lip trembling and my eyes still firmly squeezed shut.

But then, I felt the strangest, most beautiful thing. _A hand. _Christine's warm, soft hand was _touching _my face! My eyes opened hazily and I watched in wonderment as her gentle fingers explored the cold, mangled flesh of my right cheek.

_No-one has ever willingly touched my face before. _

And she was lovingly caressing it as if I were a _normal _man! I felt so overcome with intense emotion, that I just couldn't take it anymore.

I sank to my knees, sobbing my heart out; but for once I was not crying of sorrow. I was crying of joy, sheer _joy! _And of course, I was crying of love for this wonderful _angel_, who had easily made me the happiest man in the world by a simple touch to my face.

And she _loved _me! Christine Daaé _loved_ me!

I kissed her feet again and again; showering her metaphorically with my eternal love and devotion, and literally with my seemingly endless tears. Her own tears mingled with my own, as she got onto _her _knees to face me.

She held my broken face in her hands and whispered, 'I love you Erik… _all_ of you! And believe me, you are the most beautiful man I have ever known, inside and out.' She stroked the distorted flesh of my cheek with her lovely, soft fingers and smiled. 'And your face is a part of you, so it is _more_ than beautiful to me.'

Her heart-breakingly touching words brought me to the very peak of ecstasy, as I gazed at her in sheer adoration. Adoration which she now _reciprocated? _It was a miracle which I could not dare to believe. It _must _have been a… a sensational _dream! _Yet I would happily lie in slumber forever if only to let this foreign _bliss _ensue!

A bizarre explosion of sound filled the air, as I found myself both laughing and sobbing simultaneously; basking in the warm, inviting rays of happiness. If Christine _truly _loved me, I would have no more reason to hide amongst shadows; cloaked in the devastating darkness of my soul. Oh no, I would be free as a bird! I would be willing to do anything and everything, if I only had her by my side!

Christine blessed me with another of her adorable smiles; as if reading my abnormally hopeful thoughts. And then, the most astounding thing happened. Perhaps in an act of confirming her… her _love _for me, Christine suddenly tilted her head upwards so that she faced me entirely; her angelic face so close that we shared breath. Her smile sent warm waves coursing through my body, and my eyes flickered shut with the intense pleasure of her nearness.

And then, without warning or any given reason, the best moment of my entire life occurred. Sweet, wonderous music seemed to infiltrate the air, as my beautiful ange de la musique gently pressed her lips against mine.

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><p><strong>FLUFF FLUFF FLUFF FLUFF! FLUFFY FLUFFY FLUFF FLUFF! *randomly bursts into song* ALL THINGS BRIGHT AND FLUFFYFUL, ALL FLUFFIES GREAT AND SMALLLLLLLL… A-hem, well I guess it's pretty obvious that I absolutely adore writing fluff, so I promise there will be much more to come! :D Please leave a review and tell me what you think, and whether you want more lovely, cutsie, fluffy… fluff! <strong>


	11. Chapter 11

His lips felt so… so _soft _against mine; a velvet caress which I had missed more than anything. Oh, how I had _yearned _to kiss him! Memories of our first kiss had always consumed my thoughts, ever since that fateful night where we parted. But nothing… _nothing_ could compare to this sheer _beautiful _moment, where a single, shy kiss seemed to seal our bond forevermore. It was this moment where I realized what love truly was. Love is where two halves of a soul find each other, for they have always been destined to become one.

My darling father had died for a _reason. _I was bought to the Opera House, young and afraid, for a _reason. _I even believe that my poor, unhappy Erik was born bearing such a deformity for a _reason. _It was so that he would be shamed into dark solitude within the catacombs of the Palais Garnier, left with nothing but the will to save me; to become my beloved Angel of Music. If he were not born with such a burden, he could have been the most successful, powerful, _loved _man in the world. For if his face were as beautiful as his heart, he would be simply unstoppable; invincible; _perfection._

And yet, it is his imperfections which I love the most. For they are why I have been _blessed _with his love; love of the most rare and exquisite kind. A pure, t_rue _love.

So every day I will shower his marred face with a million kisses; grateful for those scars, which were the bittersweet reason for our infinite union. Those scars are more beautiful to me than anything in the world, for they represent every inch of his suffering which I will constantly strive to heal. They were both a blessing and a curse, for they bought me to him in the sweetest, most extraordinary twist of fate. And kissing him now made it all so crystal clear: he was the second half of my soul; the key to my heart; my irrevocable destiny.

All these thoughts were rushing through my head, harmonizing with my rushing heartbeat and shallow breaths of bliss, as his lips met mine in the crashing crescendo to our everlasting opera. At first, his lips were shy; as timid and tentative as a child's. But he soon began mimicking my movements, bestowing me with soft, sweet kisses which sent pleasurable shivers down my spine.

'Oh Christine…' he murmured against my mouth, and in response I boldly ran my tongue over his lips, _begging _for entrance.

It was then that he suddenly became _alive. _

A spark seemed to ignite within him, as a deep, masculine growl emerged from his throat. I had never heard a man emit such a sexual, animalistic sound before, and for it to occur in his unbearably velvety voice was enough to send me off the edge. I could almost _feel _the flames of our passion, as Erik wrapped surprisingly strong, muscular arms around my waist; my tongue plunging into his mouth as I tasted him for the very first time. Our tongues entwined, and I moaned at the sheer impossible heights of ecstasy which washed over me in blissful waves.

It was almost impossible to believe that I had been his first kiss… his first _everything. _Was there nothing the man could not master?

For it was not long before he had taken the reins and become the teacher again, taking full dominance over the kiss and making me feel such… such _intense _feelings which I barely deemed possible! No, Raoul could never make me feel like this. He could never match the mere _sensation_ of kissing Erik; his sweet taste, his full, softly enticing lips, his hard, masculine body encasing me in a lustful, intoxicating embrace. He effortlessly lifted me onto his lap, never once breaking the kiss.

_Oh god, how he makes my body __**sing!**_

The desire coursing through us both was undeniable, and it was bluntly obvious that he was no Angel. No, he wasn't an Angel, Phantom, or a ghost… for he was every inch a living, breathing man.

A blush rose to my cheeks as the most masculine part of him pressed against my thigh, confirming his earthly desires. His deft, musician's fingers skimmed over my body with an adoring, graceful tenderness; as if I were his most precious instrument. I arched my back and softly moaned, resulting in another growl from Erik as he suddenly _pounced._

There was no other way to describe it, for I swiftly found myself lying on my back, with Erik fiercely kissing down my neck, his eyes ablaze with a passion he must have contained for_ years_; a raging animal within him longing to be set free. Seeing such passion did not scare me as it used to. For now I shared this passion, and I fully understood it.

_I now understood why a simple touch from Erik had made my body ache and plead and __**scream**__ for more! _

Despite him being so tall and me being rather petite, it was as we were made for each other; our bodies fitting together perfectly. Our legs entwined as he devoured me with fervent, devoted kisses; my breathing becoming laboured with sheer pleasure whilst I inaudibly moaned his name again and again.

But it all ended far too quickly, as Erik soon came to his senses and recoiled from me like a frightened child. He practically _jumped_ off me; looking devilishly attractive, yet adorably unaware. His ebony hair was abnormally tousled; his cheeks flushed and his lips swollen from our… our _encounter_.

With a shaky sigh, he stammered, 'Oh.. g-god Christine, I am so s-sorry! I didn't mean to…'He paused, shaking his head, before extending his hand to lift me upright.

I simply sat in a bemused, trance-like state; my gown rumpled and my curls a disobedient mane. After mentally shaking myself, I remembered how to function my body; delicately placing my hand in his and standing up straight, smoothing my hair and blushing self-consciously.

'Wha… what? E-Erik… _oh, Erik!' _I breathed, finding myself incapable of saying anything other than his name as his palm unknowingly stroked mine.

Finding a sudden interest in the floor, he cleared his throat and awkwardly continued, 'Oh dearest Christine! I… I did not mean to… to lose control in such a vulgar manner, as if I were any other man! You know how Erik adores you, Christine! You know how much he respects you… your body is like a _temple_to unsightly Erik! He would never take advantage of your sweet innocence, never! He would send himself to be put on display for the rest of his pitiful life before harming his darling, beautiful Christine!'

He immediately fell to my feet, clutching my hands in manic desperation.

'Erik?' I cooed, finally collecting myself as I was swiftly brought back to my senses. He simply looked at me sorrowfully, as if ashamed of himself.

'Oh, Erik…' I sighed, a smile gracing my lips as my heart swelled with love for him. I bent down so that we were eye-level once more, and stroked his hair wordlessly until he calmed himself down.

'Christine… please say you will forgive Erik?' he whispered, his golden eyes gazing up at me with the sweetest adoration. My heart softened, practically a puddle of love by now.

'Oh my darling, there is nothing to forgive! Yes, we were caught in a moment… but it was _both_of us who got carried away! Believe me when I tell you, I enjoyed it as much as you- if not more! You are the one man to ever make me feel this way, and…' I looked away shyly, as Erik watched me curiously. 'And I didn't want you to stop. God, how _could_ I ever want you to stop?'

He was still staring at me in complete wonderment, a smile tugging at his malformed features. 'R-really?'

I positively beamed at him, before pecking him again on the lips.

'Yes, really!' I then leaned closer to him, and seductively whispered in a voice that I barely recognized as my own. 'And one day, I would _love_ to finish what we started...'

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><p><strong>Tehehe… YAY MORE FLUFF! As dutifully promised! :D It was quite steamy fluff too, and there will be much more where that came from! Let's just say that in the future, there may a couple of M rated chapters… ;-) Haha, if you all get my drift! But anywho, thank you for all the wonderful, wonderful reviews- y'all are fantabulous! :D Literally love each and every one of you, and the reviews really spur me on to write more of what you all want- which is predominantly seductive fluff… so I hope this chap lived up to your expectations! ;-) Keep reviewing and I shall keep writing! And now that I have FINALLY worked out how to send PM's (I'm such a smart one…) I will be sending messages to every lovely reviewer out there! :D And I love the anonymous reviewers equally, so a big shout-out and special thanks to LoveEverlasting, Reverend Squid, 'The-person-who-has-no-name' (wow, my originality is astounding…), Niki, AliceWalice &amp; Lady Cavalier! MWAH TO ALL OF YOU BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE. Until next time… <strong>


	12. Chapter 12

**HELLO ALL! Apologies for such a late update… but I have been tres busy with homework, rehearsals and whatnot :/ But yay, my school is now doing the Sound of Music for the school production! And I am Mother Superior, so I get to sing 'Climb Every Mountain' which is like the prettiest song in the world! :') Well, the prettiest song that isn't from Phantom hehe.. ;) oh, and I SAW THE 25****TH**** ANNIVERSARY OF THE PHANTOM OF THE OPERA! In the cinema… but it was still an amazing experience! Like wow. Just wow. It was absolutely incredible, I mean, RAMIN KARIMLOO was the Phantom? 'Nuff said. He is literally beautiful, SQUEEEEE! Me and my friends were clutching each other and shrieking throughout, during all the best Phantomy moments :D And I think I cried during the Music of the Night? Hahaha, and that's pretty early on in the show, even for me! xD But oh, it was simply stunnnnnning, and he made it so obvious just how much Erik adores Christine, which inspired me to write even more fluff! So enjoy, and please keep reviewing, alerting and favouriting! I LOVE YOU ALL SO MUCH :D **

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><p>Time was insignificant; the minutes flying by without us even realizing. We seemed to be trapped inside a bubble, lost inside our own world. But I had no intention of coming back to reality, especially not when Erik and I were savouring the sheer magic of being in each other's arms. I gently caressed the lean muscles of his back, my fingers tangling in his soft, black hair. It was strange that I had always remembered his skin being ice-cold to the touch… and yet, I was so very warm in his embrace. I could feel his adoring, golden gaze scorching through me; the power of his love irrevocable, breathtaking and beautiful.<p>

'I'm so lucky…' I thought aloud, causing Erik's head to jerk upward, surprise washing over his misshapen features.

_'You're _lucky?' he spluttered with disbelief. 'Don't be ridiculous, Christine! How on earth could you be considered _lucky_ to be in the arms of a monster?'

I shook my head with disapproval, and continued to stroke his hair soothingly. 'Erik! Stop talking about yourself in such a way, especially when it is so far from the truth!'

'Oh, really?' he snorted, with a quirk of an eyebrow.

_'Yes!' _I groaned in frustration. 'How long is it going to take for me to show you just how beautiful you really are?'

Erik pulled away from me, a devilish smirk flickering on his lips; giving me the strong urge to kiss him again. 'My dear, to put it lightly… if you ever used the words beautiful and Erik in the same sentence, I would very much question your sanity!' he stated solemnly, his eyes flashing with amusement. I swatted his shoulder playfully, inwardly astounded by how _normal _our behaviour was becoming.

_Just like everyone else._

A tear almost came to my eye as I pictured my angel saying those very words; his beautiful voice adorned with such child-like innocence that it almost broke my heart. Even then as I shakily stood, tormented by my impossible choice, I couldn't help imagining the shy, lonely boy inside of him; a child who was never given the chance to learn right from wrong, or to experience even the simplest expressions of love. It was excruciating to try to contain my unruly desperation to heal his poor, wounded soul; to mend his shattered heart with countless sweet kisses. And that is what I now have the power to do: to ensure that he _will_ get his wish. Not only will I strive to make him _happy_, I will also do my very best to grant him the feeling of normalcy which he has always deserved.

_Just like everyone else... _

My mind swiftly returned to the sensually smirking angel in my arms; bewilderment still etched in his smouldering gaze. 'Oh Erik,' I sighed, 'I love you because of who you are… and it is your imperfections which make you the _perfect _man for me!'

His smile mirrored my own, his amber eyes shining with unshed tears. 'Christine, you cannot mean that-'

_'Listen_ to me Erik! Believe me when I tell you just how lucky I am, for I am in the arms of the man whom I love with all my heart, and it is so rare for a woman to find such a true, exquisite love in this world!' I declared.

'Oh Christine…' he whispered, his voice a soft shadow of its previous grandeur. And yet, the way he said my name was still heart-wrenchingly beautiful.

I cupped his deformed cheek with utmost tenderness, tracing the paths of his tears with my fingertips.

'Oh, how I love you!' he breathed. 'You make me the happiest of all men! God, what did I do to deserve the affections of such an _angel?'_

He reflexively nuzzled his face into my hand, sighing happily at the contact. My heart felt as if it would burst from my chest, and I couldn't hide my joyous smile.

'I could ask you the same question… you are my Ange de la Musique, are you not?'I teased.

Without warning, Erik suddenly crushed my lips against his, kissing me fiercely. Only this time, it was not a kiss of animalistic passion, but a kiss of sheer, devoted _love. _I soon became absorbed by the kiss; my equally eager response making it clear that I felt exactly the same. I sat astride his lap, my legs wrapping round his slim waist as my arms snaked around his torso with a sudden desperate fervency.

After minutes of devouring my mouth and consequently sending me to the very heights of bliss, Erik began to worship every visible inch of my flesh with sweet, delicate kisses. I felt weak with desire, and shut my eyes as he worked his magic on me; even with the simplest brush of his lips to my shoulder blade.

And still, my lips were searching; _waiting _for him to claim them as his own again.

I almost cried with joy when he bestowed my lips with copious loving kisses; each as pleasantly soft as the brush of a butterfly wing. It wasn't long before we had resumed our position in each other's arms; a wordless proclamation of eternal devotion.

Thoughts of marriage, a little house by the sea, and even a selection of miniature Erik's and Christine's idly flitted through my hazy head. It was so easy to forget just how difficult it would be to lead a normal life. How were we even to escape from the Opera House? Where would we go? How kind would the world be to a man in a mask?

But all those questions seemed so irrelevant when I was snuggled up to my angel; his arms encasing me in a protective embrace; his intoxicating, masculine scent washing over me in glorious waves. I focussed on the comforting thump of his heartbeat; the steady sound of his breathing.

I _relished _the fact that he was still alive.

I _thanked God _for giving us another chance, for teaching me how to see through the eyes of my heart.

It soon came to my attention that the said holder of my heart was in fact, fast asleep. I had never seen him asleep before, and practically cooed in adoration at the sight. There was such a… _innocence _to Erik as he slept; making it impossible to believe that anyone could have ever wanted to hurt him. His head was slumped, and rested on my chest; his arms still wrapped around me protectively. His normally immaculate hair was tousled; silky ebony strands falling into his eyes. It was strange to see the all-seeing Phantom with his eyes closed; the soft curve of his dark eyelashes betraying this fact.

_This proves just how much he trusts me! _I mused happily, my beaming smile mirroring such thoughts.

I traced the salty path where his tears had once been, caressing the translucent skin of his face. It didn't bother me at all now, his face. In fact, I now saw it as one of the elements which made Erik _unique. _A part of him, which I would never wish to change. My smile softened as I stroked the pouting curve of his bottom lip, before kissing both of his closed eyes and cuddling even closer. I breathed him in, praying that this all wasn't simply an intense dream; a figment of my childish imagination. No, it was all _real._ He was really here beside me, not lying dead and alone without ever knowing that he was loved. I shivered at the thought, yet was comforted by the sweet sound of him murmuring slightly in his sleep. With a soft sigh, I too fell asleep in his arms, my smile never once leaving my face.

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><p><strong>Awww, they are so sweet! :D And my god, you have NO idea how much I love writing Erik! Mmm, I wish wish wish I was Christine… :( But still, it's a good job I'm not, because then I couldn't write all this fluffy fanfiction! ;) Hope you enjoyed, and please keep reviewing for more lovely EC fluff! **


	13. Chapter 13

'Christine?'

'Yes, Erik?' the love of my life replied; the mere sound of her voice giving me the typical illusion that I had strangely awoken in heaven. I still could not get over the fact that she was here… _with __me! _Beauty had truly chosen to stay with the beast, because… because _she __loved __him! _And oh, how he loves her too! He loves her so much… so _very _much that he-

_Dear __god, __there __is __no __easy __way __to __say __this._

I swallowed several times, silently scolding my hands for shaking so uncontrollably.

_Yes, __this __is __most __**certainly **__not __easy._

My palms were sweating, and my legs appeared to have forgotten how to function.

_One __foot __in __front __of __the __other__… __yes, __that__'__s __it, __you __can __do __it __Erik! __Remember, __it __is __a __sin __to __keep __an __angel __waiting._

My thoughts instantly swerved back to _my_ darling angel, which caused me to become rooted to the spot once more. I inwardly groaned.

_This may be the most difficult task I have ever encountered. _

I became an unmovable statue as Christine's lovely form entered the room; light seeming to radiate from her very being. I wistfully imagined a halo adorning those russet curls which I so adored, thinking of how easily she could be mistaken for an earth-bound angel. _My _angel.

'Erik?' she asked, looking fondly bemused. 'Was there something you wanted…?'

_This __is __it. __This __is __the __moment __I __have __been __waiting __for. __But __will __she __accept __me __this __time? __Oh, __how __could __an __angel __like __Christine __**ever **__accept __poor __unhappy __Erik!_

The constant arguments between my writhing thoughts seemed to buzz around my head, like a swarm of irritating flies. I tried my best to block them out, as I plastered a false, foolish smile upon my face, feeling more self-conscious than ever before. I nervously twisted the ring around in my fumbling fingers, partially wishing that she had never returned so that I would not have to deal with such undeniable… _fear._

_No __Erik! __How __could __you __ever __wish __such __a __thing? __You __love __Christine __more __than __anything; __you __will f__orever __live in __regret __if __you __are __too __scared __to __try!_

I already _had_ tried. It was painfully obvious that such endeavours had not worked out for the best.

_But look, she has returned to you! So surely it would be foolish to not try your luck again? She told you that she loves you-_

She could be lying. Angels aren't supposed to fall in love with demons.

_For __God__'__s __sake __Erik, __just __ask __her __the __damned __question!_

I couldn't do it. I couldn't face her rejection again.

_You __will __have __to__ face __it. __Unless __you __want __to __lose __her __forever__… _

Christine's questioning gaze brought me tumbling back down to my senses. I took the deepest of breaths; my smile faltering slightly as it masked the frightened grimace which longed to appear.

'Ah, yes. I just wanted to, um, ask you a particular… question, of sorts. You see, um… the thing is…'

'Yes?' Christine chirped cheerfully, a mischievous glint embellishing the beauty of her dark chocolate eyes. 'What is it that you'd like to ask me, Erik?' The combination of her sparkling eyes and devastating smile made my heart ache. I was truly caught under her spell, and for once in my life; I was completely and utterly speechless.

'I… I, um, just wondered if maybe… I mean, if you wanted to…' I stammered stupidly, shakily readying myself to reveal the ring to her. I was truly terrified. 'May I… may I kiss you?' The last part of my sentence came out in a garbled rush, and she smiled at me; compassion filling her beautiful eyes. My face fell.

_Well, __that __was __certainly __**not **__what __I __wanted __to __say! __Damn __you, __Erik- __why __can__'__t __you e__ver __get __anything __right?_

'Oh, my poor darling…' Christine cooed softly, placing her hands upon my shaking shoulders with heart-breaking tenderness. 'Erik, you shouldn't have to _ask_such things of me! You know that I would kiss you more than willingly- in fact, I very much wish that you would kiss me right n-'

She suddenly gasped, her hand clutching her mouth as her words abruptly ran dry. I held the ring out towards her pathetically; pleading for her acceptance with my eyes, as I could not risk speaking due to the restrained sobs which threatened to come.

_I knew it. _

She could never fully love me.

_I knew it! _

How could such a rare beauty marry the rarest of all monstrosities?

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><p>I gazed at Erik's trembling form in sheer wonderment. He was shaking like a leaf, and held a beautiful, golden ring in his outstretched hand; a <em>wedding <em>ring which was all too familiar. He… he was asking me to _marry __him! _Of course, that torturous night where he had attempted to _force _me to marry him was unforgettable, yet this sudden proposal was a shock to my system. This time, it was not a frightening demand; a cruel, impossible choice. No, my angel was now falling to his knees before me; pure love shining through his eyes as his chest heaved with emotion. Shyly, sweetly, and unsurely; Erik was _asking _me for my hand in marriage. And I was proud of him for it… so very proud of such selflessness; a trait unthinkable of a man who had been denied love for his entire life.

'Oh Christine, mon belle ange...' he whispered tremulously, the irresistible beauty of his voice enveloping me with its soft, celestial wings. 'You know the facts which I cannot deny. Although I would cut out my heart and sell my very soul for you, you know that I will never transform into a handsome, wealthy Vicomte. I have… _nothing_ to offer you, other than a life of running and hiding from the unforeseen predicaments which constantly cross my path.' He lowered the ring, and took my hand; pressing delicate kisses to my knuckles. 'But, what I _can_promise you is that if you marry me, I will do whatever it takes to make you happy. If you chose to be my living wife... God, I would even relive all the horrors of my past with ecstatic merriment! I would damn myself to the very pits of Hell just to be with you.'

I could feel tears welling up in my eyes as my heart throbbed with an overwhelming sea of emotion.

'Oh, Erik…' I murmured, my tears now freely flowing. He raised his hand, in order to gently catch my tears with his long, elegant fingers. Those magic fingers caressed my cheek with the sweetest tenderness, and he looked ready to cry himself.

'Christine, I will not beg. I will not force you into anything you do not desire… I have learned from such selfish mistakes, and refuse to ever hurt you like that again.' He paused, and slowly removed his hand from my cheek, returning to his apprehensive fingering of the ring. I almost wept at the loss of his touch, but his next words struck my heart even further.

'But I will tell you of how deep my love for you has possessed me. I breathe you, Christine. You are a need; a craving; an aching desire. But most of all, you are a part of me. Christine Daaé, you are the one eternal love of my many years of pitiful exisistence. I will love you until God extinguishes the light of the Sun, and the stars turn cold. Your answer makes no difference to this everlasting promise, yet I still shall ask you all the same.'

His eyes flickered shut, and I saw him take a deep, shuddering breath.

'Christine, will you do me the honour of becoming my lawful wedded wife?'

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><p><strong>Hehehe, just a BIT of a cliffy there ;) So sorry my lovelies… but I simply couldn't resist! But anyway, feedback would be greatly appreciated! Please keep reviewing, all your lovely comments mean so much! :D And they also spur me onwards, so if the reviews keep coming, there may very well be another chapter popping up from me very soon… <strong>


	14. Chapter 14

'Christine, will you do me the honour of becoming my lawful wedded wife?'

My heart raced.

I couldn't breathe.

All I could comprehend was just how much I loved Erik… how much I longed to become the living wife he so desired!

Silence hung in the air as I attempted to collect myself, and suppressed the urge to burst into a waterfall of happy, joyous tears. However, it appeared that my elated silence spoke volumes, as Erik immediately assumed the worst. A wave of confusion swiftly washed away my happy thoughts, as Erik suddenly clutched the hem of my dress desperately, his body shaking with soundless sobs.

'Erik is sorry, Christine…' he whispered into the fabric, clutching me tightly as his voice rose. 'Oh, Erik is so, so sorry! Forgive me Christine,' he whimpered. 'Please… _forgive me!_'

'Erik?' I began softly. 'Oh Erik… look at me. Look at me, Angel, _look_ at me!' His fiery gaze met my own, and for once, there was not only an intense sadness which I saw in those beautiful eyes. No, there was also the shy, timid glimpse of hope. It was faint, but it was there all the same.

'Mon ange…' he whispered, his heavenly voice sending shivers down my spine. He reached out as if to stroke my cheek, but paused, not quite daring to touch me. With a sudden firmness, I took his hand and fully pressed it against my face, relishing the chilling touch of his long, musician's fingers. We both sighed.

'Foolish man…' I purred, the softness of my voice easing the harshness of my words. 'You didn't even wait to hear my answer, did you?'

My question was rhetorical, yet Erik still shook his head dumbly; his breathing barely audible.

'I… I love you, Erik! I have told you time and time again, and yet somehow, you still find it difficult to believe me,' I smiled sadly, entwining our fingers. 'Mon amour, to put it bluntly, I am very much in love with every single inch of you… so _of course_ I will marry you! Let me be your living wife Eri-'

My sentence was abruptly cut off by the wonderful interruption of Erik's lips meeting mine in an ecstatic, searing kiss, as he suddenly pulled me into a joyful embrace; literally sweeping me off my feet. I gave a delighted little shriek as he lifted me up into his arms, devouring my mouth with blissfully endless kisses. His tears wetted my cheeks as I unsuccessfully tried to conceal tears of my own, overwhelmed by the joyous feeling of spinning round and round the room in the embrace of an angel; feeling as if he truly had wings. It was as if we were soaring across the sky, delighting in the sensation of skin against skin; heart against heart; body against body. When our desperate urge to possess each other's lips had ceased, he simply held me in his arms; effortlessly continuing the illusion that I was flying, my feet never once touching the floor.

However, much to my disappointment, he soon released me; resulting in an uncontrollable pout and the sustained giddy sensation of being in the air. Erik chuckled, a grin playing on his sinfully tempting lips.

'It appears that I have yet to give you your ring!' he tutted, producing the ring again with a flourish. I eyed it greedily; the simple gold band appearing even more beautiful than any precious jewel.

Purely because it represents my bond to Erik forevermore.

I gracefully held out my hand, allowing my ring finger to protrude slightly as I gazed at Erik through affectionate eyes. He graced me with another of his adorable smiles; seemingly radiating with happiness as he smoothly placed the ring upon my waiting finger. He pressed a soft, lingering kiss upon the ring, before slowly kissing up my expectant hand and arm. My free hand feverishly clutched at the sleeve of his suit jacket; delighting in the feeling of the soft folds of velvet brushing my fingertips. Erik had now worked his way up to my bare shoulder; caressing it with similarly velvety kisses. He was using his seductive magic on me yet again, causing me to blissfully shut my eyes for what felt like the umpteenth time. The gentle tease of those soft, enticing lips against my ear caused me to exhale sharply in the pleasurable mixture of a sigh and a moan… although I was completely unprepared for what he would do next.

It was then that my ears were suddenly graced with a sound which clearly rivalled the voices of angels. I fell pray to familiarly indescribable feelings, as the sheer magnitude of angelic beauty possessed, engulfed, and consumed me. Erik had started to sing.

_'Say you'll share with me one love, one lifetime,_

_Lead me, save me from my solitude…'_

His smooth, silken tenor was as unfalteringly captivating as ever, yet still portrayed such emotion; parallel to the beauty of those pleading golden eyes. His hands gently cupped my face, stroking back any loose tendrils of hair with an adoring tenderness.

_'Say you'll want me with you here, beside you…'_

I opened my eyes hazily as Erik clutched my hands in his; his voice reaching its glorious crescendo as it resounded around the room, weakening my knees with its devastating beauty.

_'Anywhere you go, let me go too-_

_Christine, that's all I ask of you…'_

My hands wandered to the breadth of his shoulders, as I found myself filled with the sudden, throbbing urgency to make him mirror my own beaming smile. Consequently, in an act which was both wonderfully spontaneous yet also preciously apt, I began to sing in response; every word reflecting my feelings perfectly.

_'Say you'll share with me one love, one lifetime,_

_Say the word and I will follow you…'_

As always, I sang for him… but this time, I was not just his student, his timidly innocent songbird. No, my voice was now rich and clear; filled with all the grace and confidence of a woman. It was then that I realised that I had, indeed, become a fully grown woman. For I was now to be married! And this time… this time, it truly felt real.

Our voices entwined as we sang the last part together, proclaiming our shared love and devotion in the sweetest of songs.

_'Share each day with me, each night, each morning…'_

I reached up to caress the distorted side of his face; exploring the malformed flesh with a newly found fondness. As I gazed into the amber orbs which I so loved, I sang again softly.

_'Say you love me…'_

_'You know I do…'_ Erik replied, the immense truth in his words tugging at my heartstrings- even more than the pure perfection of his voice. And yet, I still managed keep my composure, as both our voices joined together once more; creating an intimate, unearthly duet as the song reached its soft conclusion.

_'Love me, that's all I ask of you…'_

The final note seemed to infiltrate the air, as our song was sealed with a tender kiss.

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><p><strong>Well, I hope this chapter has made you all happy! Writing it certainly made me smile! :') And once again, I would like to thank you all so so so much for the wonderful reviews... they make me feel all warm and fuzzy inside :3 Hehehe so yes, thanks for the continued support! And pretty please keep reviewing! I AM ETERNALLY GRATEFUL. <strong>


	15. Chapter 15

**MY DEAR, BEAUTIFUL, LOVELY, FABULOUS, WONDERFUL, PHANTASTIC READERS. *goes down onto knees and begs for forgiveness***

**I am so so so so so so so sorry that it has taken me practically a CENTURY to update, but I have literally _just_ finished my week of being Mother Abbess in 'The Sound of Music', and it was simply the best week of my _life!_ Being in such a beautiful show with such an incredible cast was just the bestest thing in the world... and being told that I 'made _everyone_ cry' purely through powerful music was just the most magical feeling ever! Although... it _is _pretty impossible not to cry during 'Climb Ev'ry Mountain', as it is such a beautiful song! :') I managed to control myself until all the shows had ended though, so thankfully didn't burst into tears mid-song ;) But ANYWAY, my life as a nun has officially ended... which means that I can return to my beloved world of Phantom! :D Yayyyyyyy! So without further ado, here is my latest, inexcusably belated chapter... but it's my longest one yet, so I sincerely hope it makes up for the wait!**

**WARNING: This chapter starts off pretttttty angsty, but that is simply because I want to make my story _realistic.._ and don't wish to suffocate it in far-fetched fluff! But don't fret, there is still some lovely E/C fluff to satisfy you all at the end.. ;)**

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><p>'Erik?' My voice seemed to echo mysteriously round the empty room, fondly reminding me of the mischievous charm of a certain masked Opera Ghost. Normally, my angel would bow down to my every whim, always willing and ready to hold me in his arms, quenching my constant, desperate thirst for his presence. But this time, I was only greeted by… silence.<p>

With a frustrated sigh, I called out again. 'Erik!' My tone was laced with selfish impatience. 'Erik, where _are _you?'

But of course, I knew exactly where he was.

When there was still no answer, I began striding towards the door; the door which normally spilled forth the most haunting and beautiful melodies, luring and lulling me like a seductive predator. But now, that door was almost like an enemy. For it was indeed, that door which was separating me from my angel, as once again, he was succumbing to his first love. _Music._

_For heaven's sake Christine, stop being so bitter! Really, it's surprising that Erik doesn't think of you simply as a spoilt, ungrateful child!_

But oh, I loved him so! I couldn't help missing him, even if we had only been parted for a couple of hours. It was almost as if I still couldn't believe that he was alive, unable to comprehend the fact that I had almost lost him. How could I ever have left him? I was so stupidly blind; unable to recognize the excruciating clenching of my heart as I walked away, hearing his broken sobs eventually fade into nothingness. But now as I stood, cruelly alone, his existence was as vital to me as breathing. Without him, my lungs were starved of oxygen; the very core of my soul aching with need!

_God, how I need him!_

Such a need was irrevocable, and as a result, all doubts were instantly banished. I flung open the offending door in a dramatic gesture, relishing the sight of my dark angel with a sigh and a smile. I breathed him in: the gentle ebony wave of his hair; the hard, masculine angles of his face; the pure softness of those striking liquid-gold eyes. And those hands… those pale, dexterous hands were moving fitfully across a page, before discarding it amidst an entire pile of papers. I watched in pure fascination, longing to hear the sinful secrets which each sheet of music undoubtedly held. I had long ago discovered that music was the key to every dark, beautiful and dangerous depth of Erik's mind, as well as being the inevitable bond which united us eternally.

However, despite my obvious enthrallment, I could only content myself with watching him for a short time; as once again, I was overcome by the insatiable urge to hold him, and never once let him go.

'Erik?'

He still had not even registered my existence; seemingly too absorbed in the music which was forming on the present page. He cocked his head to the side, murmuring inaudibly under his breath… yet failed to notice me standing in the doorway.

I tried again. 'Erik, mon Ange?'

He finally looked up, yet wore a slightly flustered expression. 'Ange…?' he questioned, the velvet of his voice instantly making me forgive and forget the stony silence which ironically accompanied his composing. My smile returned, as I approached him happily. He watched me wearily, a smile falsely flickering on his lips.

'Oh darling, you do look awfully tired!' I soothed. I was right. He was anxiously running his fingers through his hair, and the fire in his eyes was dwindling. 'Why don't you leave your music for now… surely you can simply finish it tomorrow?'

'It is not possible for me to leave my music, Christine,' he replied calmly.

'I'm sure you can make one single exception!' I giggled. 'Don't you wish to spend time with your fiancé?' I pointedly twisted the ring on my finger, my smile only fading when I saw that it was not mirrored by my angel. On the contrary, his face was a picture of complete seriousness.

'Of course… of course I do!' he protested desperately. 'But there are some things which should not be interrupted… and, and music is one of them!'

'Of course, Ange,' I chirped, in a meagre attempt to maintain lightness in the slowly clouding atmosphere. I could feel foreign tension in the air, but did not relent. Why, I couldn't just let him work himself to exhaustion! He was tired, and I still desperately craved his presence.

'I know how much your music means to you… but, surely it would be best to get some rest? It's getting late, and-'

_'No!'_

The sudden snarl of Erik's voice made me jump, yet I calmed myself with brisk firmness.

It's only your imagination, Christine. Erik could never be angry with you… he _loves_ you!

With a secret sigh of relief, I tenderly placed my hand upon his shoulder.

'Won't you at least let me make you a nice cup of tea?'

'No!' He swatted me away, as if I was simply an irritating insect. Hurt washed over my features.

So much for being his beloved Angel of Music!

'A cup of… coffee?' I timidly questioned. 'Or… I know! I'll make you a glass of hot cocoa, it's always been your favouri-'

'No, no, _no!'_ Erik clutched his head, as if in pain. I heard him take several deep breaths; his hands balling into fists.

'Christine, you are a bright girl… surely the basic concept of music is not beyond your comprehension?' He stood suddenly, beginning to pace around the room like a caged animal. And was that the slight edge of… hysteria which I heard in his voice?

'It is a simple concept, Christine… a _simple concept!' _he moaned. 'Music is like… like a river of water! One cannot stop its natural flow, and likewise, I cannot stop composing until my music is complete! _They_ won't let me stop either…'

'Who? Erik, who are you talking about?' I whispered brokenly, paralysed by a bitter combination of confusion and fear.

'Them. It is always, always _them…'_

'Erik, you're frightening me!' I tried to fight the tears which were welling up in my eyes, but found myself powerless.

'They won't let Erik stop... Erik can never, never stop! Not until everything has reached perfection… beautiful, faultless _perfection.'_ He ripped off his mask; that cruel, unfeeling mask which he still insisted on wearing.

But the golden eyes which bore into mine were not Erik's. These eyes still shone a devastating hue of gold, yet looked lost, diluted, crazed. He ran his fingers over his deformity with a maddened fervency, his eyes never leaving mine. I watched him helplessly, knowing that my Erik, the man who had eased his way so effortlessly into my heart, was now lost to me; temporarily locked away within the twisted shadows of his mind.

'Isn't this just perfection, Christine?' he whispered, in a voice which was barely audible. His fingers remained on his face, the distortion looking even worse in the dim candlelight. Shadows danced across the room, distorting everything until I couldn't differentiate what was real, and what was conjured by my overactive imagination. It was these shadows that seemed to be swallowing him, engulfing him, possessing him.

_Breathe in,_

_Breathe out._

_He would never hurt you._

_He would never, ever hurt you…_

'Didn't you hear me?' I lifted my head slowly, allowing my frightened thoughts to be banished by that voice; that voice of silk and splendour which serenaded and seduced me, even then as I stood in quivering silence. His voice was music itself… but of course, even music can be deceiving.

'Why? Why can nobody ever hear me?' The suspenseful silence of the room was suddenly broken by his guttural roar. 'I speak of perfection… when it is all I will never, never be!' He braced the organ with one hand, the other clawing at the deformed side of his face manically.

The very sight of him inflicting pain on himself was an excruciating stab to my heart… and yet, I found myself rooted to the spot; paralysed by an uncontrollable, primal fear at the scene unfolding before my eyes.

'Erik… Erik, stop this madness! Please, just stop! Stop!' I wept wretchedly.

'Don't you wish that you could obliterate this face, Christine? Surely, you must long for this to simply be a mask… an illusion… a vivid nightmare!' He began pacing again, wildly circling the small room as I watched in tearful despair.

'No! I would never want you to change… never!' I sobbed. 'Erik, I want to marry _you! _And I love you, god, I love you so much! So much, that it pains me… and it pains me to see you like this! It breaks my heart, Eri-'

_'Look at me!'_ The bellow of his voice resounded around the room like a clap of thunder; its fierce intensity akin to a bolt of lightning.

'Look at me…' he repeated brokenly, his voice suddenly transforming from a tsunami to a gentle, precious drop of rain. I obeyed automatically, and stared him straight in the eyes. All I saw was the face of a man- a man whom I loved with all my heart.

And he was so very beautiful.

But there was still that desperate, tortured madness flickering in his fiery eyes; a madness which could never be tamed until it had fully, and finally ceased.

'Don't you see? I know you do, Christine… in fact, I know everything there is to know about you! I live, breathe and exist for you; so it is rightful that your every thought is mine to claim!' He walked away from me mindlessly, facing in the opposite direction as if he could not bear my searching, pining gaze. 'And so, it is clear that you are also aware of the bitter, unchangeable truth…'

'Erik, please! I- I don't understand… I don't understand!' I pleaded. But Erik continued as if I hadn't even spoken, his eyes still not daring to meet my own.

'I will never be able to reflect the perfection which I constantly see etched in your face, Christine. Your every move, your every expression radiates everything which I am not,' he said softly, in a voice which made fresh tears spring to my eyes, simply through its sheer beauty.

'Consequently… it is tragically clear to both of us that I will never be worthy of you. And _they_,' he continued bitterly, 'will never allow me to forget it!'

In one swift motion, Erik turned on his heel and strode out of the music room- still miraculously maintaining all the feline grace of a cat. Meanwhile, my heart stuttered clumsily in my chest, as I found myself unable to speak; trapped within the whirlwind of confusion which clouded my mind.

_How did everything change so quickly?_

_How did my life suddenly transform from perfection into… this?_

So many unanswered questions echoed fitfully in my mind, causing me to finally break down; falling limply to the floor as I sobbed helplessly into my hands.

I waited.

Minutes passed.

I waited and waited.

Hours passed.

I waited and waited and waited.

By the time my childish cries had ceased, it felt as if it had been _days._

I felt myself drift in and out of consciousness, desperately dreaming that I would hear the celestial voice of my Angel. But instead, I was constantly met by the cruel mockery of deafening silence.

Yet as I lay there, safely enveloped in shallow slumber, it was almost as if I could sense him... I heard his every footstep; his every breath; his every sigh. And suddenly, the glorious wave of reality bled into my dream world, as I felt myself being gently scooped up into strong arms. My eyes dazedly remained shut, yet a contented smile flickered on my face as I recognized his familiarly masculine scent; the delicious mixture of ink, leather and musky fragrance. I could feel the sinewy muscles of his chest; hear the comforting thump of his heartbeat; feel the gentle breeze of his breath tickling the top of my head.

He carried me all the way to my bedchambers, holding me so very tenderly- as if I were merely a delicate, china doll. And still, I did not stir. Instead, I played along with this charade, pretending to be fast asleep. But really, I was very much awake; silently rejoicing at my Angel's return. However, I soon found myself assaulted by layers of silk, velvet and lace, as I was tenderly positioned beneath the various bedcovers which warmed me every night.

_'This is my room…'_ I thought absent-mindedly, secretly wishing that Erik hadn't rejected the idea of us sharing a bed, 'because it is entirely improper; we are not yet officially married, Christine!'

I struggled to stifle a giggle at the memory, yet managed to keep my eyes obediently squeezed shut. I could feel Erik drawing nearer, and sighed softly as his icy finger mapped a gentle journey across all contours of my face. My sighs only deepened when this suddenly transcended into the sweet, soft stroking of my hair.

Instantly, he was forgiven for everything.

Finally, with shaking hands, Erik brushed a stray curl out of my eyes; before pressing the delicate ghost of a kiss to my forehead. This was the last straw.

'Erik!'

I was graciously met by the sight of my Angel, shrouded in shadows; his golden eyes gleaming with unshed tears. He whispered my name, in a voice which was both flawlessly beautiful and quivering with a magnitude of unspoken emotion.

'Christine…'

That single word spoke a thousand apologies, and the sheer desolate desperation which filled his eyes was far too much for me to bear.

'Please, just… just _hold_ me.'

Without a single moment of hesitation, Erik nodded; tears spilling down his cheeks unashamedly. He gingerly climbed beneath the bedclothes, before gazing at me wordlessly, as if waiting for instruction. I smiled at the pitiful Angel before me, before tenderly removing his mask. He stiffened; clenching his eyes shut, yet did not relent. For now, it seemed as if he was desperate to please me, and I was certainly not going to object!

After placing that cursed mask on the nightstand, I ran my fingers over every inch of his face; strangely relishing the twisted texture which was normally hidden behind unfeeling, white leather. His tears still flowed freely, so I placed a gentle kiss upon his lips, as if willing them to stop. He kissed me back- still maintaining a careful tenderness- and then tentatively wrapped his arms around my waist. With a feeling of utter ecstatic completion, I molded my body against his; the steady beating of his heart tempting me back towards my wonderful haven of sleep.

But as I began to drift out of consciousness, I was lured back by a beautiful melody which suddenly graced my ears. It was this soft humming, accompanied by the resumed stroking of my hair, which made me realize just how lucky I was. I simply could not have been happier.

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><p><strong>Awhhhhh.. :3 Yeah, it's clear that I epically failed at writing an angsty chapter... seeing as I can't seem to resist finishing it with fluff! :') Ah well, I'm sure y'all didn't mind, did you? ;) Anywho, you know the drill: R&amp;R as always! Reviews always make me so happyyyyy... and this time, I promise that this happiness will transform into a speedy update! In fact, I PINKIE PROMISE. And I may even post an unspeakably fluffy Christmas chapter next time... so please, hit that little 'review' button below! <strong>

**You know you want to. **

**It's _calling_ to you! **

**Just pretend it's squeaking 'Review! Review!' in an adorable little voice... **


	16. Chapter 16

**Purely to make up for the previous angst... here is the fluffy chapter OF DOOM. Seriously, I think it's got to be my fluffiest one yet! xD And it's a special, cutsie Christmas chapter, so it should be very enjoyable for any of you who are still feeling festive! And on that note, I hope you all had a wonderful Christmas, and will go on to make 2012 your bestest year yet! :D I love you all, and thankyou ever so much for the lovely reviews! Please do continue to send me your thoughts... they really spur me onwards! Think of every review as an inspiration to me... so if you wish to inspire me, go for it! :') Anyway, I'm rambling again... so without further ado, here is the next instalment!**

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><p><em>Damn you, Erik! Damn you to the deepest, darkest pits of Hell! Oh, my poor, poor Christine…<em>

She was curled up at my side; encased in my rigid, awkward embrace. I didn't dare move. In fact, I barely dared _breathe._ I also refused to succumb to petty sleep, for it was my sole responsibility to ensure that my angel was well rested. And if this meant staying in the same uncomfortable position all night, so be it. How could I disturb her when she looked so peaceful, so serene, and so… so _very_ beautiful? Ah yes, my Christine was indeed a Goddess- sculpted to utter, inhuman perfection.

_So, why did you have to hurt her again? You made a vow, Erik- an oath! You swore that you would make her happy. And what did you do? You drove her to tears with your monstrous madness! Damn you, Erik! Damn you!_

A solitary tear escaped from my eye, yet I chased it away as swiftly as it had fallen. Now was not a time for pathetic self-pity! Christine deserves so much more than that. She deserves a man who loves her, cherishes her; _worships_ her. I must prove myself to be worthy… yes, I must prove to her just how much I love her! And I will do everything it takes to make her smile again. Not the strained, half-smile which she wore so valiantly after last night's events; but the sweet, sunny smile which sublimely lights up her features- making her appear almost _aglow_ with happiness!

_She was perfectly happy last night. All she wanted was to be with you, and what did you do? You pushed her away, didn't you!_

I didn't mean to- I wasn't even thinking straight! Erik would never wish to harm his Christine, never! But it was those voices… those torturous, manipulative voices who seem to exist only inside my head; a chorus of whispers which grow and grow… rising unstoppably to an eventual, _excruciating_ scream! And they don't ever stop screaming. Sometimes, I wonder if they are the screams of the dead; the screams of the countless innocent souls who I have killed. Granted, many of them weren't _entirely_ innocent, yet the twisted truth still stands: I killed, and I _enjoyed_ it. What sort of monster does that make me?

A monster who is irrevocably in love with the purest of angels. Oh, what a perfectly ironic life I lead.

Yet it was this innocent angel who I had harmed in the heated haze of selfish, foolish, _delirious_ madness. And somehow, I found myself unable to control such madness, as it consumed me like the burning blaze of a flame. Although, of course, this was all swiftly followed by the piercing stab of _regret._ Nevertheless, I will not allow myself to wallow around in such regretful, pitiful misery… for surely, even the most bitter of wounds can be healed? I may be no saint, yet I am not sinful enough to not even attempt to right my wrong.

With this in mind, I gently disentangled myself from the Angel in my arms, trying desperately not to wake her. When I was satisfied with her continued state of sleep, I tiptoed to the kitchen as quietly as possible. I knew exactly what to do: I would prepare Christine the perfect breakfast; a meal which she always used to tell me was her favourite- ever since she was a little girl. As I busied myself with the mixing of ingredients, I recalled exactly what she had told me…

_'Oh, Angel! I remember it so well… Papa would always make me an entire stack- not a few, but an entire **stack!** - of crêpes, with strawberry sauce, whipped cream… and, what else was it? Oh yes, and the tiniest sprinkling of icing sugar! That was truly the best breakfast ever…'_

As I poured the mixed batter into the pan, I smiled fondly at the memory; instantly visualizing a younger Christine- the sweet, sincere student who always strove to please me. But now, those roles had reversed entirely; for it was I who was constantly desperate to please Christine: the single, eternal holder of my heart.

_This had better live up to Christine's expectations of 'the best breakfast ever…'_

Luckily, it was not long before my Angel began to stir, stretching her willowy limbs and sighing contently. My heart raced at the very sight of her: the glorious fountain of russet curls fanning out on her pillow; the dear, delicate features of her exquisitely beautiful face- set with irresistible eyes of dark chocolate, which were sleepily cloaked by a curtain of thick eyelashes.

_Oh, Christine. My love for you must exceed the love of **anyone** who has ever loved!_

It took all the strength I had to not go and cradle her in my arms at that very moment, yet I still felt undeserving of such… such pure _divinity._ I had yet to prove myself to be a man, rather than the villainous monster; a task I must undertake with all the fervency of a warrior. Yes, I will forever battle against my conscience, and fight these foreign… _feelings_ which constantly assault me! But oh, it was so tempting when she sat, cruelly concealed by the bedclothes, clad only in a thin nightgown. All I wanted was to reach out and _touch…_

_No, Erik! You must not even dream about such vulgarities! Imagine, a monster tainting such a pure, perfect Angel…_

But with a fresh determination coursing through my veins, I quickly chased away any self-deprecating thoughts; this wasn't about me, it was about Christine.

Only _ever_ Christine.

So, with the intention of solely revealing my singular beauty, I used my ventriloquism skills to my advantage; throwing my voice so that it gently caressed the inside of her ear with a breathy, sultry whisper.

'Chri-stine…' She immediately shut her eyes, arching her back as if falling prey to an invisible touch.

'Erik… Erik?' Her eyes opened, searching. But I still remained hidden in the confines of the kitchen, attempting to conceal a chuckle at her intense reaction. But oh, I wanted more! So much more…

'Christine,' I purred. She visibly shivered. 'Ma chérie, mon ange, mon amour...' I sang in melodious, honeyed tones, attentively alternating between both of her dear, sweet ears.

'Mon amour…?' she hazily repeated, seemingly spell-bound. The mixture of bewilderment and ecstasy etched on her face was enough to make me release a chuckle, delighting in the power which I still held over her.

But not for long.

My laughter must have broken the spell, for her eyes began darting round the room eagerly.

'Erik!' she giggled. 'Oh Erik, where _are_ you?'

'Must you know? I rather enjoy the mystery of our current exchange, my dear,' I teased.

'Erik!' she pouted. 'Despite how much your voice… _pleasures_ me, I also wish to see the face of the man who greeted me so eloquently this morning!'

Grinning, I revealed myself, assaulting the rich colours of the room with my entirely black attire. Regardless, her face broke into a smile- that beautiful, joyous _smile!_ - when she saw me, causing my heart to race erratically.

_Oh, the pure bliss of having Beauty anticipating the return of the Beast!_

I was so overwhelmed by her reaction that I found myself at a loss for words; only capable of wordlessly bowing to her, whilst pressing tender kisses to her knuckles.

'Ah, that's much better!' she smiled, affection flickering in her eyes. I continued to silently gaze at her, reflecting her smile… until I suddenly remembered the crêpes.

'Please, do excuse me,' I murmured, before leaping to my feet and dashing back towards the kitchen. I could sense Christine's confusion even whilst I hustled and bustled in a separate room, but knew that she would simply_ love _the surprise.

In less than a minute, I reentered; grasping a plate piled high with steaming crêpes, garnished with strawberry sauce, whipped cream and the slight sprinkling of icing sugar. All in all, I was very proud of myself, as I had memorised her favourite meal to perfection. Which wasn't much of a surprise, seeing as I always find myself sub-conciously memorising _everything_ about her! But it was all worth every single second of her blessed reaction.

A wave of emotion seemed to wash over her features, as she suddenly leapt from her bed and hurtled into my arms.

'Careful!' I scolded, as the plate was nearly overturned. I gently set it down upon the mattress, whilst Christine remained clinging onto me- as if her very life depended on it. Once again, I found myself at a loss for words as she enveloped me in another crushing embrace, burying her face into my chest. I savoured the moment, wondering with faint amusement how she would react if I produced something far more wonderous than a simple plate of crêpes. However, as she gazed up at me, I noticed the faint sheen of tears glazing her eyes. I immediately panicked.

_Oh woe! Surely Erik has not managed to upset his darling Christine again? This was supposed to make her **happy!**_

I made a slight noise of distress, yet instantly calmed when I saw the awe etched in her expression.

'You… you _remembered!_' she whispered.

I smiled, touched by the magnitude she felt for even the simplest of gestures. 'Of course I did! How could I ever forget your favourite meal? You used to always tell me about how your father-'

I paused, realizing that the memorization of her father's _exact_ preparation of crêpes may have been somewhat… _thoughtless_ of me.

_What if the meal brings back endless memories- causing more tears to fall from her pretty eyes?_

Christine must have noticed the sudden frantic worry in my expression, so soothed me with the comfort of her hand against my unmasked cheek.

'Ange, this is one of the sweetest things anyone has ever done for me… why, I haven't eaten crêpes since I was a child!'

'I… I just thought it would be nice for you…' I stuttered, hanging my head.

In response, Christine took a seat upon the bed, and used the cutlery I had provided to take a relishing bite of one of the crêpes. Her face immediately lit up.

'Mmm… you were right! They are _very_ nice indeed!'

_Thank… the… Lord!_

I breathed a great sigh of relief.

'In fact, Erik… these are delicious! Is there no end to your vast array of talents?'

I simply smirked in response, attempting to conceal the blush which coloured my normally sallow cheeks.

'Thank you my dear, you really are too _kind_ to your Erik. Although, it wasn't exactly a grueling task! I'm sure that many men would find themselves capable of mixing egg with flour…'

'Not as well as you do!' she replied smugly, daintily licking cream off the fork; the most innocent of gestures which still sent erotic shivers down my spine. 'I think that you may even exceed my Papa!'

'Well, that certainly _is_ a compliment!' I said softly.

'It is indeed,' she smiled, raising a full forkful to my mouth. 'So perhaps you could show your appreciation by at least sharing some of this with me? You barely ever eat, Erik… it worries me endlessly!'

I shied away from the looming fork.

'No, Christine! Really, I made it for you!'

'Please? Just one forkful…'

'Christine, honestly, I'm absolutely fine-'

_'One_ forkful! That's all I ask… please, just humour me!'

'Fine!' I grumbled, attempting to accept the food in the most graceful manner possible, yet still managed to get cream smeared on the edge of my mask.

'Here, let me fix that for you…' Christine giggled, before pressing her lips to mine; kissing away all traces of cream. I suddenly liked whipped cream very, very much…

But before I got too distracted, I prised myself away from Christine, knowing that there was much to do before the next part of my plan occurred.

'Anyway, ange, I will leave you to ready yourself for the day ahead… I have a surprise for you!' I trilled excitedly, shyly pecking her lips one last time, before striding towards the door.

'A surprise?'

I turned momentarily, only to see my Angel sprawled across the mattress; her curls a dark dissaray and her eyes dancing wildly with excitement. She had never looked more beautiful.

'Oh Erik, you never _cease_ to surprise me,' she said softly, her smile setting my heart aglow with rapturous joy.

_Oh, how strange it is to feel this happy…_

I mirrored her smile with my own, and left her in order to attend to my strict, daily ablutions. For me, hygiene has always been an important factor of life, due to the self-concious longing to make myself as presentable as possible, despite the uncontrollable horror of my visage. So, once I had thoroughly washed, I dressed in my finest suit, donning my cloak also. The mask I wore discretely matched my skin tone, yet also covered up every inch of malformed flesh. At a brief glance, I almost looked like an ordinary man. And I _could_ be ordinary! Well, I could at least try my very best to be, for Christine.

With this in mind, I approached her bedchambers; gently knocking on the door which teasingly barricaded the beauty inside.

'Yes, chérie?' she mewed.

'Are you… decent?' A blush coated my cheeks.

'As decent as I will ever be!' she laughed. 'Please, do come in!'

I cautiously entered her room, only to see her sat at her vanity mirror, carefully positioning a lilac ribbon in her hair. As she stood, the matching skirts of her dress swirled around her in an intoxicating haze of purple. The gentle waft of roses assaulted my nostrils, and I sucked in my breath with silent awe. She was so exquisitely beautiful, it literally stole my breath away.

'So, how do I look?' she coyly questioned, giddily spinning around in her dress with an innocence that made my heart ache.

'You look…' I was still at a loss for words. 'You look lovely… beautiful… absolutely _divine!'_

She suddenly stopped her frenzied spinning and turned to face me, positively beaming.

'So do you, Erik,' she murmured, her eyes flickering over my cloaked form. 'So do you.'

I nervously laughed off her compliment, and offered her my arm, trying to conceal the fact that I was shaking. She happily accepted, yet confusion staled her smile.

'Where are we going?'

'Ah, well… I suppose you'll just have to wait and see,' I chuckled mysteriously.

'Oh, Erik! Please tell me!' she begged, clinging onto my arm like an impatient child.

'But surely, that would completely ruin the surprise, would it not?' I proclaimed in a teasing, sing-song voice.

'Still, there would be no harm in telling me! I could simply _pretend_ that I don't know…' she giggled mischievously, as we journeyed further and further towards the lake.

'Well, mademoiselle,' I offered her my gloved hand, and carefully escorted her into the boat. 'I shall at least have the courtesy to tell you that,' I took a deep breath, 'I am going to take you _outside.'_

She froze. 'Outside? You mean… we will leave the Opera House?'

I nodded.

'Wouldn't it be… _dangerous_ for you?'

'Not if we keep ourselves concealed. And I, as you may know, am a master of disguise,' I said nonchalantly. 'Besides, I would never partake in anything which would put you within even the _slightest_ proximity to danger.'

'It's not myself who I fear for! I only worry about you,' she exclaimed with wide eyes, biting her lip anxiously.

My booming laugh echoed through the catacombs, as I skillfully steered the boat towards the pathway which I had built specifically for an exit. An exit which I had not used in almost a decade.

'You should never fear for me, my pet,' I crooned, whilst grounding the boat to a halt. 'Nobody would even get the _chance_ to harm me, especially not if you were under my protection,' I muttered darkly.

When I saw that worry still clouded her eyes, I tilted her face upwards with gentle fingers.

'I promise that I will do everything in my power to ensure that we are not discovered,' I purred in a soft, persuasive tone. 'But I just feel so… _selfish_- stealing you away from the world you know and love.' I hung my head sadly. 'It may have been easy for me to live in solitude for all these years, but I cannot condemn you- a girl so full of life- to rot away within this tomb which I previously chose to bury myself in.' Her eyes widened further at my words, so I quickly dove towards a lighter topic.

'Besides, it has come to my attention that it is a… rather _festive_ time of year-'

'You mean Christmas?' Christine suddenly piped up excitedly. 'It is truly Christmas… _already?'_

I had forgotten how unaccustomed she was to living underground, blissfully unaware of what occurred in the world above.

_Oh, my poor, dear child…_

'Well, it is within a week of the celebrated day itself,' I said, somewhat sheepishly. 'I know this due to my… my _connections_ with the above world. You see, I would always hear the managers discussing their annual Christmas Opera; an Opera which I constantly, inevitably despised.'

'Why?' she asked, shocked.

'Well…' We had now made our way through an entire maze of passageways, and had almost succumbed to the welcome of fresh, biting, wintery air. Deep down, I was terrified.

'How, Erik? How can you truly hate Christmas?' Concern was etched on her beautiful face.

'It's just, I… I could never bear to see so much… _happiness._ Every year, I would feel swarmed by all the doting families, the laughing friends, the gushing couples…' I grumbled, through gritted teeth. 'They all seemed to be a part of a parallel world to me; exchanging gifts, making merry and sharing such… such _love_ which I knew I could never experience.'

Christine's eyes immediately filled with compassionate tears. 'Oh, my poor, poor Erik-'

'But darling Christine, it is you who has changed… _everything!_ You have given me a reason to live, and,' I tore my gaze away from her, suddenly shy. 'I now truly feel as if I can celebrate Christmas. Now, I can be a part of the world in which I never seemed to belong! All I ask is, would you… would you wish to spend Christmas with me? I completely understand if you don't, but-'

I was abruptly distracted by Christine cupping my face, as she then kissed me soundly upon the lips, as if in answer to my question. It was definitely a most satisfying answer.

Even as we pulled away, she continued to stroke my unmasked cheek adoringly.

'Of course I would, Erik! From now on, I will make it my duty to ensure that you fall in love with Christmas completely!' she smiled. 'Why, we now have thirty odd years of festivities to make up for!'

'Thirty-five,' I corrected. 'Ah, thirty-five whole years… it makes me seem ancient in comparison to your meagre twenty!'

'Erik, you are _far_ from ancient!'

'Whatever you say, mademoiselle, whatever you say…'

Christine's adorable, sunny laugh graced the chilling air, as we finally reached our destination.

'So, here we are,' I grimaced. 'Are you ready to venture outside for the first time- as the fiancé of a reclusive Opera Ghost?'

'The question is: are _you_ ready?' she challenged.

'I will do anything for you,' I said simply. 'And I still feel deepest regrets for the way I acted last night…' I trailed off ashamedly.

'Believe me, all was forgiven as soon as I saw the sorrow in your eyes,' she replied firmly, causing a weak smile to return to my face.

'Then I suppose, all is well again.'

With the extension of my arm, I escorted her out of my kingdom of darkness, and into the welcoming, beckoning embrace of light. This sudden transposition to the outside world assaulted each of my senses; I was entirely overwhelmed. But a single glance at my Angel was enough to reassure me completely, for she looked positively _radiant;_ basking in the gentle rays of winter sunshine. It was then that a fit of uncontrollable giggles filled the air, as Christine clutched at my sleeve in sudden excitement.

'What is it, my love, what is it?'

The heavenward direction of her finger made me look, realize and burst into a similar fit of giddy laughter all at once.

For magically, it had begun to snow.


End file.
